I think it's fair to say that the majority of words written about
Rihanna today have been written by me. However this hasn't stopped Los
Angeles courts chirruping up by granting Rihanna a three year
restraining order against Steveland Barrow. Barrow was of course the man
who broke into what he thought was Rihanna's LA home while Rihanna was
in Hawaii celebrating her birthday.
Obviously this could create a small frisson of excitement over whether
Rihanna may be taking a restraining order against me. Honestly she has
no chance. I am though slightly more worried about Chris Brown who
certainly has enough to begin defamation proceedings against me and is
clearly enough of a little bitch to try. Of course if he were to proceed
he would eventually have to explain his actions in that New York
nightclub toilet to an opposing counsel who has nothing to gain by
pulling punches. I may even buy him a suit.
Primarily though the issuing of the restraining order against Barrow and
the reason why Barrow attempted to break into Rihanna's home in the
first place is to show the world that Rihanna (well her legal team) does
indeed know how to apply for and obtain a restraining order. Therefore
we are supposed to conclude that because as Rihanna has not sought to
obtain a restraining order against Chris Brown there is no need for
Chris Brown to be under a restraining order. This argument of course
only has two very small problems with it.
Firstly the crimes that Brown is accused of (perverting the course of
justice, fraud, bribing public officials) are considered crimes against
the state. Therefore Rihanna's views on whether he should be prosecuted
or not are no more or less valid than the views of any other resident of
the state of California. So unless California is going to hold a
special referendum on the issue I think we can safely ignore Rihanna's
views.
Secondly the moment Chris Brown decided to beat Rihanna half to death
and certainly the moment he chose plead guilty he gave the state of
California - delegated to his probation officer and now the Court - the
right to decide whether he is a danger to Rihanna or anybody else. As
this was initially a domestic violence case rather then counting in his
favour the fact that Rihanna is prepared to forgive him or speak in
support of him should warn the court and the probation service that
Chris Brown is still able to impair Rihanna's judgement. This sort of
overwhelming control is central to any abusive relationship so the Court
and the Probation service should have no option other then to conclude
Brown still poses a threat to Rihanna safety and well-being so needs to
be restrained by some sort of Court order. In fact by reporting the
crime Rihanna has - to some extent - given the state of California the
duty to protect from her from Brown. So the moment she turned up at his
last Court appearance to support him or gave a magazine interview
telling the world she'd forgiven him the Court should have immediately
re-instated the restraining order and directed her to undergo some form
of counselling to explore the trauma of the assault itself and her
reasons for being in a relationship with Brown in the first place.
In fact as I am so confident that this is considered routine in the
western world I would go so far as to suggest that if Rihanna continues
to attempt to contact Brown or show support for him the Court goes for
the Lohan 90 day locked in Rehabilitation program. After all if the US
wants to get anything other then disgust from this operation they're
going to need a very big, smoky cauldron to wave their hands over while
they whisper out mysterious words about the 'cure.'
Also a bus driver in Florida has been caught on camera kicking a little
girl off a bus in late 2012. Amid the misdirection about Hillsborough,
autism and violence against children this is the US trying to find out
if anyone is going to ask whether the individual who was ordered to
light up a marijuana joint as Rihanna's tour caravan passed through
Canada/US customs yesterday (20/3/13) has been kicked off the tour.
Personally as neither team Rihanna or the US federal government (let's
try and pretend for a moment at least that they're not the same thing)
have not yet identified the individual I can't be bothered to go look.
On a related note in their tonight Rihanna will be performing at her
concert in Detroit. In my morning I've got to go to the gym, get stoned,
pick up that prescription and try teach my mate how to keep the
accounts required to file a self-assessment tax return while explaining
to him why now is not probably the best time for him to start taking on
extra-staff. I will be doing this in the pub. So unless someone actually
puts an accurate review of Rihanna's concert in my hands by 08:30
proper time) I probably won't be covering it.
That said now they know how time pressured I'm going to be Team Rihanna
might actually put out a review of their own just to make my life that
little bit more difficult.
(Originally Posted) 00:05 on 22/3/13.
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