As I mentioned throughout the 2014 Winter Para-Olympics there was a
degree of tension between the Russians who were hosting the games,
Channel 4 (C4) who were broadcasting the games in the UK and me who was
watching. Following the end of Sunday's (16/3/14) closing ceremony
broadcast C4 put on a special evening of programing to look at this
tension in detail.
The main part of this was the climax of C4's "Live From Space" which was
a mini-season of programs about space exploration. This began on
Wednesday (12/3/14) mid-way through the United Nations Framework
Convention of Climate Change (UNFCCC) meeting in Bonn, Germany. UNFCCC
meetings are always complicated and technical but this meeting was
especially so focused on what mitigation efforts nations would take, the
specifics of how those efforts would be measured and how they would be
monitored and verified. As a result it led to something of a beauty
contests between nations all desperate to show off their scientific
abilities.
C4's Live From Space season obviously showcased the US' work through
NASA and attempted to closely link the UK to NASA's work. Obviously the
hope was that not too many people would pick up on the fact that the
International Space Station (ISS) is in fact an international effort.
Relying heavily on satellite data the search for Malaysian Airlines
flight MH370 was supposed to show that Malaysia - and by extension the
UK Commonwealth - was at the centre of a discussion about everyone's
latest technology. This type of satellite and surveillance technology
will of course play a key role in measuring atmospheric pollution and
things like forest loss.
The climax of the "Live From Space" season was a live show called "A Lap
of the Earth" which followed the ISS as it made a complete orbit around
the earth. Aiming to explain the entire history, structure and meaning
of the universe astronomy and astro-physics are rather mind-blowing
subjects and this is especially true if you attempt to deal with them
having smoked marijuana. Added to that the show was presented by Dermot
O'Leary. Some people may know that when I went to visit my lesbian
wife in Spain we were unexpectedly joined by the producer of Dermot
O'Leary's BBC Radio 2 show who proceeded to ruin the entire trip not
least by immediately contracting chronic food poisoning. As a result it
is fair to say that Dermot O'Leary and I are known to each other even if
I've yet to hear him formally apologise. Finally "A Lap of the Earth"
was a live show with lots of delays as communication with the ISS was
lost and then re-established. This left the presenters with lots of
time to fill and they chose to fill it with a lot of what could be
considered coded references to my movements around the house which they
were able to monitor in some way.
As a result I think it's important for me to look in more detail at what
I actually got up to following the end of the closing ceremony.
Basically this can be summed up in terms of drinking more alcohol,
smoking more marijuana, eating pizza and finally taking a little bit of
cocaine. During this time I was also somewhat active of Twitter.
The first part of this involved responding to a BBC Sport story about
how TeamGB intended to build on it's Sochi 2014 successes. This story
was illustrated by a picture of TeamGB's visually impaired skiers Kelly
Gallagher and Jade Etherington along with their guides. One way that
TeamGB could build on its efforts to increase the profile of disabled
sports and portray Jade Etherington as a disabled sex symbol would be to
get her into modelling jobs for fashion/men's magazines. Although I
think the fashion world has a somewhat undeserved reputation for being
bitchy and spiteful it is an entirely visual medium meaning that it all
comes down to a person's physical appearance. This can be hard to deal
with for someone who is not used to it and could be particularly
difficult for someone who isn't entirely sure what they look like.
This appeared to generate a Tweet from the @CanuckProblems account that used to
be @SochiProblems and was a big hit during the Olympics although it
appeared to peter out during the para-Olympics. I responded with the
wording of the Rob Ford/Drake meme that I wanted to use during the
TeamUSA V Canada hockey semi-final but couldn't find. Basically it
showed a picture of Rob Ford and Drake together above the words; "Both
of these men grew up in an affluent Toronto suburb. Unfortunately one of
them turned to a life of drugs, gangs and crime. The other is Drake."
I then took the opportunity to publicly send Rihanna a picture I'd been
trying to bring up in conversation for a while. This was a teeny, tiny
(the best I could find) picture of Russian Cosmopolitan's Olympic issue
which featured two female para-Olympians of the cover in a sort of sexy
pose. The first interesting thing about this was that it feature
para-Olympians on the front cover. The other interesting thing was that
there were vague lesbian overtones to the image. As such it seemed to be
promoting the para-Olympics while at the same time linking the
physiological basis for disability with the physiological basis for
homosexuality highlighting that both are pre-determined and therefore
not a choice. I think that this was a far more productive effort then
American Vogue's efforts that featured Rihanna on the cover and
Alexander Wang's ridiculous "Principle 6/1.2.6" campaign.
It was around this point I decided that "A Lap of the Earth" was going
to be to big for me to ignore so I would be better off sitting and
watching it and waiting for it to pass. During this time I also decided
to see if I could put the presenters off their game much as they were
trying to put me off mine. If I had to score it myself I would say that I
won.
As soon as "A Lap of the Earth" had finished I picked up where I had
left off by pointing out to Rihanna - as privately as she allows - that
not only has she wasted more then a year of her life chasing shadows
she'd also wasted a fair bit of mine.
I then finally found a use for the "Rob Ford: Thug Life" meme. As I
couldn't find the image I wanted I downloaded this before the TeamUSA V
Canada hockey game alongside the one about meeting Drake ruining Rob
Ford's career that I actually used. I think that the fact it had been
sitting on my computer since then had prompted a bit of discussion about
who was aware of it and what I intended to do with it. Although I don't
want to get into anyone's private business the author of
@CanuckProblems has been hinting that he is gay - especially when I was
joking about setting him up with Miley Cyrus. As such the "We didn't
choose this life" message seemed appropriate for the end of the Sochi
para-Olympics.
After a moment of pause I decided to the share the video for "Paul
McCartney & Wings" song "Mull of Kintyre" because I'd had that stuck
in my head since Friday (14/3/14) and it was really starting to make my
brain itch. Experience has taught me that often listening to a song a
couple times can really help get it out of your head.
I then proceeded to publicly send US Secretary of State John Kerry the
video to a song called "I Bombed Korea" by the band "Cake." This was to
highlight the fact that the two hour delay created by "A Lap of the
Earth" meant that I was now crashing the start of the working week in
the eastern hemisphere. I followed this up by posting multiple links to
the far superior Hebrew version of the song entitled "I Bombed Beirut"
from the film "Waltz With Bashir" alongside references to various
Syrian, Lebanese and Libyan cities.
This was a reference to the fact that all the pressure that Russia has
been under during the Sochi games - the threats of terrorist attack, the
gay-rights campaign and the coup in Ukraine - were all simply the US
trying to be seen by their Saudi and Qatari pay-masters to be getting
tough with Russia over its support for the Syrian government. That is
why the US has been so keen to show its support for the Kiev
'government' in order to stop them realising they are simply "Useful
Idiots" to use the Cold War terminology. To really drive home the point
during the para-Olympics a real publicity effort was made to draw
attention to the disputed third anniversary of the war in Syria that
occurred on Saturday March 15th (15/3/14).
Throughout the situation in Crimea all the rhetoric from the west and
the US in particular has been about the need to respect Ukraine's
"Sovereignty and Territorial Integrity." The conflict in Syria has
completely disregarded the sovereignty and territorial integrity of both
that nation and its neighbour Lebanon and killed about 1.5 million
people in the process. As such the song "I Bombed Beirut" seemed like a
good way of pointing out that I am done taking lectures on international
law from any nation that has supported the assault on Syria. Plus it
really helped getting the song out of my head.
As that was a bit of a heavy thought to leave things on I did another rendition of "Mull of Kintyre" and went to bed.
(Originally Posted) 15:40 on 21/3/14 (UK date).
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