Clearly the organisers of the Winter Olympics don't share my passion for
doing as little as possible on Saturdays so it has been another action
packed day. For example Victor An won gold for South Korea in the men's
1000m short-track skate, Alexander Tretiakov won gold for Russia in the
men's skeleton bobsleigh and Kamil Stoch won gold for Poland in the
men's ski-jumping to name but a few.
There was also a little bit of controversy for Britain's somewhat
disastrous speed skater Elise Christie both on and off the track. Off
the track Christie claims that she has been forced to quit Twitter after
being bullied by horrible Internet trolls. This is clearly an attempt
to forward the UK's agenda for introducing more government control over
the Internet using the threat of cyber-bullying as an excuse. It was
also though an attempt to provide a possible excuse for Christie's
bizarre behaviour during the 1500m qualifier.
Christie was on course for a photo-finish with Italy's Arianna
Fontana when she decided to skate off the track meaning that she failed
to cross the finish line and technically did not finish the race. Far
from being a mistake this was deliberate attempt by the British team to
re-run the argument about Christies disqualification from Thursday's
(13/2/14) 500m final. What happened in that race is that Christie was
trying to over-take Fontana on the inside but ran out of room so was
forced off the track and fell causing a crash the knocked over all but
one of the other competitors.
The judges ruled that
the crash was Christie's fault for leaving the track but the British
team felt that it was Fontana's fault for failing to yield. To be honest
it seemed to me to be a genuine 50/50 call but what tipped it in
Fontana's favour was the fact that Britain had been attempting to attack
the Russian hosts with an announcement by it's National Crime Agency
that people should be careful using gay dating websites such as Grindr.
The British team have announced that they respect the judges decision
over the 1500m incident but in reality what I think they're trying to do
is make Christie out to be something of a put-upon victim so if she
screws up again in the 1000m event the judges will be pressured into
cutting her some slack.
Not content to simply
irritate the International Olympic Committee (IOC) with Elise Christie
the UK has also linked up with the US for a particularly brutal
publicity stunt in which UK pop-music Simon Cowell became a father with
the American Lauren Silverman. My real given name is Simon so one level
this was the UK and the US trying to find out if anyone still believes
or is in any way interested in the long standing but poorly
substantiated rumour that I fathered a child by raping a women. However
beyond that the fact that Silverman was able to give Cowell around 12
hours notice that she intended to go into labour means that this child
was either delivered by cesarean section or the birth was medically
induced. Also it is widely rumoured that Simon Cowell is a homosexual
who has likely never had sex with a women meaning that this child was
likely conceived by IVF if Cowell was involved at all. As such this was
intended to promote discussion about gay couples becoming parents
through IVF treatment.
This will obviously
please Russian gay rights activists as they campaign against the fear
that homosexuality will destroy Russia through a falling birth rate.
However to more homophobic ears this whole thing makes homosexuality
seem even more unnatural and frankly a bit sinister. So once again this
is the US trying to play both sides making friends with both Russia's
ray-rights activists and Russia's homophobes possibly in the hope of
uniting them in anti-government protests should Russian refuse to play
ball on Syria.
At around the time that
Silverman was giving birth Canadian born but US resident actress Ellen
Page publicly announced that she was gay at an event to help gay
teenagers. This was a clear attempt by the US to attract gay Russians by
showing how welcoming and tolerant it is. I would say that this has
become a daily event during the Sochi games but the truth is that the US
has been putting out three or four of these stories a day. Seriously if
they carry on at this rate by the end of the para-Olympics I pretty
sure every single one of the roughly 350 million people currently living
in the US will have come out as gay. My money's on Justin Bieber next.
All of this was in
serious danger of being completely overshadowed by the fact that the USA
was playing Russia in the men's Ice Hockey. This match was just a
preliminary event so while not unimportant it is more about deciding how
the knock-out competition would be organised rather then the
competition itself. That didn't stop the big guns coming out though.
On Friday (14/2/14) Russian President Vladimir Putin made a surprise
visit to the US team's hotel. I'm sure that this was intended as a
friendly gesture supposed to symbolise how good the relationship between
Russia and the US is now the Cold War is over. The only problem is that
wherever the former KGB officer goes and whatever he does Vladimir
Putin does come across as extremely intimidating.
Whatever the intention
of Putin's visit it certainly had an impact because later on Friday
Rihanna's CIA handlers were on their absolute best behaviour. With the
Drake stunt happening last Friday (7/2/14) rumours have been swirling
that Drake and Rihanna would be meeting up for a romantic Valentine's
Day liaison. The most specific of these was that Rihanna would be going
to Drake's private residence for dinner which would be very difficult
for people to verify. Instead Rihanna and her friend Melissa Forde were
marched off to a concert by the rock band Imagine Dragons that was being
put on by Live Nation in Los Angeles that night. Although no official
statement was issued it didn't take long for members of the public to
start posting on the Internet pictures of a very bored looking Rihanna
at the concert. Those images demonstrated both Rihanna's location and
the fact she was nowhere near Drake.
Even the natural
environment seemed to get in on the act with an overnight earthquake in
the US state of Georgia. Although at just 4.4 this was only a small
earthquake you don't normally get earthquakes in Georgia with I think
only four recorded in the last hundred years. As I've explained the US
state of Georgia provides an easy reference to the nation state of
Georgia that went to war with Russia in 2008. So this earthquake seemed
to be the environment demanding that both the US and Russia stop mucking
about and start paying it the attention it deserves.
As for the game itself
being too hungover to calculate the time difference I ended up missing
the first two periods. From the third period though it was clear that
being the early stages of the competition both teams were playing within
themselves in order to avoid showing exactly good they are. However it
was obvious that the Russians were the stronger team and apparently the
US were completely useless throughout much of the second period. This
presents a bit of a problem for the IOC because now a lot of people are
keen to see Russia and the US duke it out in knock-out match, ideally
the one for the gold medal. Unfortunately on this form it looks like the
US may well struggle against teams like Slovenia and Canada meaning
that they may not even make it into the knock-out competition. Also a
lot of people have noticed that throughout Obama's Presidency whenever
the US is faced with a challenge it simply runs away. Therefore with
Russia so openly challenging them the US may well throw the contest.
Obviously it would be
unfair for the IOC to try and manipulate games involving other nations
but in this head to head meeting it was quite clear that the referees
were doing everything in their power to make sure that the US would win
and ideally with the full 3 points that would almost certainly guarantee
them a place in the knock-out competition. So for example when the US
went 2-1 up it came during a powerplay after a Russian player had been
sin-binned on a curious hooking call. Also having equalised the Russians
went 3-2 up only to have their goal disallowed because a US player had
knocked the US net a few millimetres off its mounting which is an
extremely strict interpretation of the rules. Even with this help the US
still couldn't manage it in either normal time or extra time so the
game went to a penalty shoot-out or "winning goals" as it's known in the
Olympics. Eventually the US managed to win this epic shoot-out earning
themselves just 2 points.
Also I can't help but
think that today's fire at the UK's National Record's Archives was an
attempt to promote discussion about not only about how I knew about the
infamous "Doomsday Clock" that it currently my Twitter avatar but how
the hell do I know anything about Ice Hockey?
Finally on a more serious note Russian skicross skier Maria
Komissarova has today suffered a broken and dislocated back during
practise. I find it extremely unlikely that someone who is as passionate
about sport as your average Olympian would ever risk paralysing
themselves for a publicity stunt but there is a possibility that the
Russians may be lying about Komissarova's real condition. However I
cannot see to what end so it seems that this is just an unfortunate and
very serious accident and I'm sure everyone will be hoping Komissarova
makes a full and speedy recovery.
(Originally Posted) 21:35 on 15/2/14 (UK date).
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