Operation Misery: Month 8, Week 2, Day 6.

Yesterday (16/10/13) Rihanna performed her second South African concert in Cape Town. Although I'm trying to find a way to slip in the phrase "tired and emotional" I feel I pretty much covered this here; http://watchitdie.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/operation-misery-month-8-week-2-day-4.html

Despite the lateness of the hour I still think this was a very strong performance by Rihanna because as always her CIA handlers/Live Nation (the management) had been doing their best to make sure that Rihanna was not only tired and emotional but a bit stoned and drunk.

As far as I'm concerned the key pressure was me. Specifically the way that I behaved like a coked up d*ckhead on Twitter by posing the question of whether Rihanna's failure to mention that last week she was in Sydney, Australia rather then Johannesburg, South Africa counted as a lie. I went on to ask that if people agreed with me that a lie of omission does indeed count as a lie whether or not Rihanna should apologise?

I am still waiting for a response but in the meantime I decided that this was actually all part of the management's plan. Obviously there are the already stated reasons of trying to con the South African government into thinking they were clever for committing to the Diamonds World Tour and ensuring that Rihanna is as tired and emotional as possible  for her trip to the United Arab Emirates (UAE). Then there was the strongly implied reason of making it appear as though the UK Crown had great access to Rihanna through the Commonwealth Realm of Australia although we are still waiting for the hidden camera footage. However the new reason I decided on was that it was obviously to offend me for some emotional reason I still need to come to terms with. Whether it was damage to my pride, reputation, jealously or betrayal this offence would force me to shout at Rihanna. Then because she feels that there is nothing she could have possibly done about it she shouts back at me and all of a sudden everyone's shouting and no-one's happy.

Although it's not strictly speaking relevant this does provide me with a neat segway into my general communication problems with Rihanna. You see because she's obviously far too important to in any way acknowledge my existence in public we are forced to carry out all our communications in public. Given the nature of Rihanna's current predicament and my, well, life this makes clear communication somewhat difficult meaning we have to use codes. This presents me with a number of problems;

The first of these is that I may have had a psychiatric break, failed to notice and now just be stalking Rihanna. Beyond that though I've got no way of knowing if she is talented enough to realise it's a code and if she does whether she understands it. Another problem I've suddenly noticed is that Rihanna has got so many fans you might call her the Pied Piper. Sadly some of Rihanna's fans also appear to have access to social media such as Twitter/Instagram but might not realise the severity of her current predicament so could read my social media comments, mis-interperet them and then make a lot of noise. For example by pointing out that Wembley Stadium was under capacity for the England V Poland game I was not insulting Rihanna. The racism storm surrounding Croydon born England manager Roy Hodgson's half-time team talk suggests that a few people would like me to expand on what I was actually doing.

Another key pressure on Rihanna could have been Chris Brown's decision to release a song in which he claimed one of his ex-girlfriends (the name Rihanna was implied) had had sex with most of the men in the music industry. This of course isn't true because sadly part of the reason Rihanna keeps coming back to Chris Brown is that she is too much of a romantic soul to be sexually promiscuous. However the management's reason for this desperate little publicity stunt was twofold;

Firstly it gives the impression that although Chris Brown is still desperately hurting there is no way Rihanna would take him back after such a slight. Therefore there is no need to re-instate Chris Brown's restraining order even though it has been conceded that he needs to repeat his punishment for the 2009 beating of Rihanna.

Secondly it puts the idea in minds of Rihanna's (I prefer the term "consumer" because "Guinness Virgins" would be considered too rude) that she is having sex with absolutely everyone in the music industry. Therefore everytime Rihanna is photographed with someone from the music industry the rumours will start that they've had s-e-x. For example I believe that Rihanna was gang-banged by all of "One Direction" in Melbourne, Australia and done up the arse in Sydney by Jason Derulo all while her mother watched. As Rihanna is (as far as I know) currently in South Africa where around 1 in 5 people are HIV+ these rumours spread new rumours about well HIV/AIDS, the entire concept of sexual health and Rihanna's menstrual cycle which I'm sure plays a highly important role in global climate.

The main pressure on Rihanna though was Tuesday's (15/10/13) apparent visit to London, UK by two members of Rihanna's core tour party/social circle. I believe these two individuals were Rihanna's cousin who is known to me only as @leleboo246 and Rihanna's long-term friend Melissa Forde (@mforde11). While I dispute there is ever a good time for Rihanna or any of her known associates to visit the UK Tuesday would have been a particularly bad day for the simple reason that Rihanna and her tour were in a whole different hemisphere. This would have been especially stressful for Melissa Forde because it appeared that her role as Rihanna's tour photographer has been quite easily filled by some f*ckwits going by the handle @GnLStudios.

00:15 on 18/10/13 (UK date) but there will be more (hopefully)

Edited at around 00:30 on 18/10/13 (UK date) to add;

Apart from the hemispherical issues Tuesday's trip to London would have been stressful on Rihanna's known associates because between the Madeline McCann case, the Jimmy Savile interviews and the 'plebgate' affair they may well have got the impression that large sections of this country do indeed revolve around me. That might somewhat challenge their belief that I'm not worth Rihanna's time. Added to that the England national football team were playing the Polish national football team in a must win World Cup group game. As they were both born on a small island and then raised in a nation obsessed with 'hand-egg' it is unlikely they would have had much to say on an issue that everybody in the UK must have an opinion on. Fortunately though England did manage to overcome the odds and qualify for Brazil 2014.

It was pretty obvious to even the most stupid monkey then that Rihanna's known associates had been sent to London to give the South Africans the impression that the UK was in possession of some amazing secret that they must beg permission for. Unfortunately though this was so obvious that the UK got so worried that the US might be using the issue to turn the South Africans off the UK in favour of the US that they panicked. So because they're both being cunts the US then transferred Melissa Forde to South Africa in order to reassure their UK partners. @leleboo246's whereabouts are still unknown.

South Africa's response to all this of course was the rather horrific rape and murder of two pre-pubescent girls in a Johannesburg township on Tuesday before dawn. For some reason the residents of the township got a bit angry about this and ran riot in one of Johannesburg's gated communities apparently looting a few shops as they went. As this was South Africa's response it would be unwise for me to go into too much detail lest I end up calling for the re-introduction of apartheid.

However the fact that the two girls were cousins was clearly a reference to the missing members of Rihanna's core tour party/social circle. The fact they were from Mozambique was a clear reference to immigration which is apparently a hot topic these days. The rioting and looting was of course a reference to the managements assertion that Rihanna is being punished for causing the UK's August 2011 riots.

I'm going to be charitable and assume the South Africans were mocking that claim.

(Originally Posted 18/10/13)