A Series of Amazing Coincidences.

On Thursday (17/7/14) Malaysia Airlines flight MH17 crashed in eastern Ukraine most likely after being hit by a military anti-aircraft missile. Since then details have begun to emerge about the 298 passengers and crew that were killed.

The first piece of information that leaps out is that there were no US citizens aboard. One of the 192 Dutch fatalities - Quinn Lucas Schansman - did hold dual Dutch/US citizenship having been born in New York City despite living his entire life in the Netherlands. This directly contradicts the initial claim by the Kiev junta that 23 Americans had been killed. That claim now appears to be a complete lie by the junta intended to inflame the situation.

The overwhelming majority of the passengers (108) were delegates travelling to the annual International AIDS Society (IAS) Summit that is being held in Melbourne, Australia on the 19th & 20th of July (19&20/7/14). HIV/AIDS is of course a massive global issue that is so serious it represents a very real barrier to economic development in much of the developing World particularly in Africa. It is also of great significance in discussions about gay-rights because many people still wrongly consider HIV/AIDS to be a "gay plague" despite the fact that Worldwide far more heterosexuals are in infected then homosexuals. 

Despite being a complex issue in its own right HIV/AIDS is also a topic that people like to use as a euphemism for other issues. For example it frequently comes up in United Nation Framework Convention on Climate Change (UNFCCC) discussions particularly in the REDD+ program. I think it was the 2010 IAS Summit that focused very heavily on infection rates amongst intravenous drug users in South East Asian nations such as Thailand, Vietnam and the Cambodia that are just on the edges of Chinese influence in the region. The majority of the heroin they're inject comes of course from Afghanistan which has been at the centre of international relations since 2001. Furthermore it has often been claimed that I must be prevented from meeting up with the pop-star Rihanna in case I infect her with HIV/AIDS although there it is being used as a euphemism for rational thought. Just before Rihanna headed to Brazil for the World Cup final the US was forced to retract a 2012 claim that a Dr Gay had succeeded in curing a baby of HIV/AIDS.

As such any discussion about HIV/AIDS ends up getting very complicated very quickly. In fact I think research into all blood borne diseases pretty much ground to a halt during the Cold War because anyone publishing a paper on the behaviour of "Red Cells" immediately had NATO and Soviet intelligence agencies crawling all over them.

The next two interesting passengers were Cor Pan a Dutch national who was travelling with his Dutch girlfriend Neeljte Tol and Maree Rizk an Australian. Prior to boarding the flight Pan took a photograph of the plane and uploaded it to Twitter with a joke about making sure that people knew what the plane looked like in case it went missing like Malaysia Airlines flight MH370. Rizk's step-mother Kaylene Mann lost her brother and sister-in-law aboard MH370. This demonstrated that both were aware of Malaysia Airlines track record so you could attempt to argue that both gave their implied consent to be killed by choosing to fly with Malaysia Airlines. The issue of implied consent is a huge one in all areas of medical research including research into HIV/AIDS. Despite the fact that the UK in particular has completely disregarded it the international law on the issue is quite clear - no-one can give their consent, implied or express, to an experiment where there is a risk of death.

Another interesting passenger turned out to be the grandmother-in-law of the Malaysian defence minister Hishammuddin Hussein. As mother-in-law jokes are pretty much universal where ever you go in the World this news seems to be crying out for someone to make an inappropriate comment about the Malaysian military bringing down MH17 simply so Hussein can get away from his mother-in-law. Although I have to concede that is a possibility I don't think it is particularly likely.

Then there is the aircraft operator itself. As I'm sure you all remember Malaysia Airlines also operated MH370 which was another Boeing 777 that went missing on March 7th 2014 (7/3/14) - the opening day of the 2014 Winter Para-Olympic games being held in Sochi, Russia. MH370 remains missing to this day despite a lengthy Australian led search. MH370 itself is a very complicated issue but its focus on satellite surveillance and ocean mapping made it a very handy metaphor for the deeply technical aspects of the UNFCCC process. It also seemed to be intended as a critique of the US 2013 Rihanna operation which was previewed in Rihanna's 2012 "777 Tour" in which she flew between 7 cities in 7 days aboard a Boeing 777.

Finally this crash occurred on the eve of the first annual Mandela day honouring Nelson Mandela, the South African anti-apartheid campaigner. The day itself was completely overshadowed by the international fall out to the MH17 crash. The number 777 is actually hugely significant within the Mandela story.

One of the largest supporters of apartheid and therefore opponents of Mandela are the Afrikaner Weerstandsbeweging (AWB). Hugely proud of their Dutch colonial roots the AWB's flag which you can Google image search yourselves is a red flag with a white circle in the centre containing a black rune. This very closely resembles the Swastika flag of Nazi Germany. However as they don't wish to be viewed as the Neo-Nazi's they are the AWB will swear blind that the black rune is a Christian image made up off three 7's to counter-balance the Biblical number of the beast (666). They really don't like being pressed on the fact that Mandela's prison number was 46664.

It is so amusing to listen to AWB members try deny that their flag is a copy of the Nazi Swastika I find myself frequently use them as an example of other Neo-Nazi groups who try to hard to hide their Nazi identity. In fact I may have most recently brought them up in reference to Svoboda a Ukrainian political party that hold high office in Kiev junta despite polling less the 1% at the recent Presidential election. Svoboda of course claim the black rune at their centre of their flag is a combination of a "N" and an "I" signifying "National Identity" and is not in any way based on a Swastika despite the fact the letters "N" and "I" don't exist in the Ukrainian Cyrillic alphabet.


As a result this whole MH17 story seems incredibly neatly packaged to force you think that it was a revenge attack by an aggressive Russia that must be harshly punished for its crimes.

(Originally Posted) 16:10 on 19/7/14 (UK date).

It's Time To Act.

After all we are only pretending.

Today the UK backed by the US has gathered representatives from some 140 nations - but mainly Angelina Jolie - at the Excel Centre in London to discuss the issue of rape in conflict. The fact that the Excel Centre is also home to DSEI - the world's largest arms fair - should be something of a clue that this summit has no intention of ending conflict. It also has absolutely no intention of achieving its stated aim of ending rape as a weapon of war. After all the predominately African conflicts that it is focused on are far from conventional wars fought by organised armies. Instead they tend to be little more then gang fights fought between heavily armed children fuelled by crack cocaine. As such the summit has instead set itself the rather twee objective of drawing up a standardised, rules based system of investigating rapes long after they have occurred.

In fact I would go so far as to say that the true objective of this summit is to disrupt the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change's (UNFCCC) June meeting which concludes on Sunday (15/6/14). As I think I've mentioned one of the main points of tension in this process is the issue of climate finance between developed nations and developing nations. So far at this June meeting great efforts have been made to focus on the way that financial support from developed nations to developing nations has taken the form of funding to groups which primarily focus on either a feminist or gay rights agenda with the objective of sowing paranoia that such groups are being used to undermine and destabilise developing nations - particularly ones in Africa. By focusing on the issue of rape this London summit goes straight for the jugular of women's rights and the wider issue of sexual politics which along with religion rarely makes for calm and rational discussion.

The London summit also forces us to ask very serious questions about what is going on in nations such as Nigeria, Mali, the Central African Republic (CAR) and the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC). As the first of these is oil rich while the last two contain many of the minerals we need to build things like car batteries that we hope will help us move beyond an oil based economy this pitches us into a very nasty discussion about what British values really are.

So sadly the nicest thing I can say about the London summit is that it really highlights how much Rihanna will have to raise her game if she wants to go and play in that charity sector. After all Angelina Jolie is far more accomplished and works far harder on these issues. However based on this performance I only feel able to cast her in the role of a celebrity deck chair attendant.

It also gives me the opportunity to recommend a 2008 film called "Johnny Mad Dog" which is set during Liberia's 2008 civil war. Although people who have read the International Criminal Court's (ICC) verdict on Charles Taylor will find moments of amusement it is far from a comedy but does help explain why I feel I can use the phrase "Well it is his will" as an insult towards either Chris Brown or Drake.

(Originally Posted) 19:50 on 10/6/14 (UK date).

Operation Misery: Month 15, Week 4, Day 5.

Yesterday (4/5/14) Rihanna launched her Rouge perfume in Paris, France without incident. Today she held her much hyped press conference at the Hard Rock Cafe in Paris to reveal the big secret.

It turns out that secret is that Rihanna has donated some of her clothes (not ones she's designed) to the Hard Rock Cafe so they can sell them in aid of the Clara Lionel Foundation which helps children affected by blood cancer (Leukaemia). However, as always with Rihanna, the exact work of this foundation seems poorly defined. So I would say that Rihanna's CIA handlers have gone so small on this it was simply an excuse for Rihanna to appear at the Hard Rock Cafe in Paris so food could be used as an example of that Winter Olympic theme of European high culture versus American low culture.

Of course along with the release of Chris Brown from prison by again associating Rihanna with charity her handlers were also trying to signal that they intended to press ahead with their plan to force Rihanna into a marriage to Chris Brown. The pair will then be used to exert pressure on developing nations through low profit tours and charity visits. The idea being to provoke an aggressive backlash particularly from me. As such I feel I should point out that unless Rihanna is prepared to make some effort of her own what I can achieve is extremely limited meaning that I am starting to view her as a lost cause. It is obviously difficult to become passionate about a lost cause.

The US was also hoping that this backlash would allow the UK to position itself in the role of good cop by leading the objections to the US' plans for Rihanna. Displaying wonderful prior knowledge the UK yesterday put that plan into motion with the announcement that one baby has died and 14 others have been made seriously ill by poisoned nutrient (food) IV drips. The intended subtext being that Rihanna is being poisoned by the poor quality food that is being provided by Chris Brown who is hardly an impressive example of masculinity - a "bit of a drip" in slang. It must be said though that to me that only serves to highlight how skewed the UK's world view is because it's rare that baby killers are viewed as the good guys.

The issue of charity is intended to heap pressure on the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change's (UNFCCC) June meeting because it is extremely close to the issue of climate finance which divides developed and developing nations. What the developing nations primarily want is money that they can spend how they like. Failing that they want technology transfers which involves things likes patents being waived bringing down the cost of new technology and technical experts being provided so they can make the best use of new methods. What they often end up with though are rather twee programs that see "educators" from developed nations travel to developing nations to train local people in things like eco-driving techniques. Although these sort of programs aren't completely without value they fall far short of what is required and often seem more beneficial to the donor nation then the recipient nation.

Following things like the "Bring Back Our Girls" campaign in Nigeria there is a growing concern that these type of programs - particularly ones linked to gender or gay-rights issues - are actually being used by the developed world to destabilise the developing world. Obviously by linking Rihanna to charity work within the context of the Winter Olympics where soft-power and covert efforts to overthrown governments were major themes is intended to exacerbate those fears and increase the divisions between the developed and developing nations in the area of climate finance. The fact that Leukaemia is a blood born disease makes it a very easy euphemism for HIV/AIDS which has in the past frequently got tangled up in UNFCCC's discussions particularly on the REDD+ program.

Finally it makes it very easy to make fun of Rihanna because many people would describe the Council of Fashion Designers of America's (CFDA) recent decision to bestow an Icon award on Rihanna as an act of charity by the fashion industry. Also this is not the first time that Rihanna has involved herself in charitable efforts to address childhood leukaemia. Back in 2008 she took on the cause of Jasmina Anema - a 6 year old girl with the disease - appealing for a bone marrow donor and setting up a charitable foundation in her name. However after the publicity faded Rihanna appeared to dramatically lose interest with the foundation seeming to undertake absolutely no work and Rihanna and not even bothering to offer her condolences to the Anema family following Jasmina's death in 2010.

(Originally Posted) 13:15 on 5/6/14 (UK date).

The 2014 Eurovision Song Contest: The Stand Outs.

As I've mentioned in my previous posts on this year's Eurovision Song Contest I simply won't have the time to cover all entrants in detail. However aside from the top three finishers and the acts that were knocked out in the semi-finals here are some of the entries that I think particularly stood out;

Iceland: Their song "No Prejudice" by Pollapunk featured an incredibly simple pop-punk arrangement alongside ridiculously childish lyrics such as; "Let’s do away with prejudice, don’t discriminate, tolerance is bliss." However if you read up on the band you would discover that they are all pre-school/Kindergarten teachers and the band was formed as part of their graduate thesis on the way that bright colours, simple tunes and memorable lyrics can be used to educate very young children.

The Eurovision Song Contest is essentially a competition in the tools of soft-power. This is entirely centred around using words, music and visual effects to influence public opinion often by educating people about specific issues. As such Iceland was attempting to raise the technical issues of soft-power whilst at the same time pointing out that although the UK likes to boast about its prowess in this area Iceland are also very knowledgeable having produced world famous children's TV shows such as "LazyTown." Through Iceland's efforts and the general staging of the competition including flying boxes (Tardis') in the opening sequences there seemed to be a particular interest in a recent deal between Britain's BBC and the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK) to sell the Koreans BBC shows such as "The Teletubbies" and "Doctor Who" although I think it's extremely unlikely that the episodes of Doctor Who in particular will actually be broadcast in the DPRK.

Iceland's entry was supported by a video that was shot in the same childlike cartoon style. It featured a big, fat comic book villain who would zap people with his ray-gun to change their bright, rainbow coloured clothes into drab blacks and greys. The reference to the rainbow flag of gay-rights meant that this was a clear reference to the efforts to improve gay-rights in Russia during the 2014 Winter Olympics. However it appeared remarkably similar to the hideous "Gay Mountain" short film that Britain's Channel 4 broadcast throughout the Sochi games. As such Iceland seemed to be reminding everyone that when dealing with Britain's highly reactionary liberal elites it is important to talk as though you are dealing with a toddler.

Hungary: Performed by a US born and raised black, male singer - András Kállay-Saunders - who managed to resemble both Chris Brown and Drake Hungary's entry "Running" was overtly about domestic violence. As such it seemed a clear protest against the US' treatment of Rihanna because the true story Kallay-Saunders kept referencing was of a girl being abused in America. However what the Hungarians were actually doing was using other nations protests over the US' treatment of Rihanna as a metaphor for the political situation in Hungary which has seen a sharp rise in anti-semitism and neo-Nazi political parties such as Jobbik. The fact that Kallay-Saunders is black helped to highlight the racist nature of these Domestic groups who are prone to Violence.

Added to that Hungary's stage performance featured a 16 year old girl playing the role of the domestic violence victim whilst also playing the piano. This girl spent most of that performance hiding underneath that piano from a male dancer. This was very reminiscent of the perspex box in Azerbaijan's 2013 entry so served as another little hint to the contests large gay fanbase as part of the gay-rights trend.

Finally Hungary's was actually quite a good song featuring a drum and bass/dubstep beat. This contributed to the eastern high culture versus western low culture trend by pointing out that no-one's really objecting to hip hop/rap as a genre of music just the really poor examples of that genre that keep getting pushed to the top of the charts as if somehow we're supposed to be fooled into thinking that they're any good.

San Marino: With lyrics such as; "Maybe there's a pearl in the shell" and "When it's time, To open the heart of love" San Marino's entry was all about Rihanna. However the reason why it got through to the final while the similar Baltic entries failed is that it elevated the discussion. Throughout the US has argued that it needs to maintain such a high level of control over Rihanna through things like the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) audit because Rihanna is a bit of a disaster area who needs to be educated before she can take control of her own life. Through Rihanna's handling of the Berdon LLP case and well Berdon LLP case itself it does become increasingly difficult to counter that argument. As part of this discussion much has been made of the fact that Rihanna never finished High School failing to obtain even the most basic qualifications.

San Marino's Valentina Monetta also never finished high school in the conventional sense but went on to receive a very rich and varied education within the creative arts. As such San Marino seemed to be saying that maybe Rihanna still has some potential left but in order to realise that potential she needs a different education from the one the US are providing. Sadly this was probably the nicest thing said about Rihanna all week.

Added to that San Marino have a long history of trying and failing to make it into the final meaning that they've built up quite a lot of sympathy. Finally though the general tone of San Marino's entry was; "We're a tiny principality in northern Italy, Ukraine means that European politics have caught fire and we've only had eight weeks to prepare!!! We're not actually that bothered either way." This is sentiment that seemed to resonate with other contestants.

20:10 on 11/5/14 (UK date).

Edited at around 14:25 on 12/5/14 (UK date) to add;

Italy: Centred around Emma - a female singer with dyed and cropped blond hair - who liked striking the infamous tongue out pose whilst wearing an Alexander Wang Principle 1.2.6 campaign style beanie hat Italy's entry made clear, sarcastic references to both Miley Cyrus and Rihanna. However its main target was Lady Gaga.

Very much a gay icon Lady Gaga is currently on her "ARTPOP" tour and likes to portray herself as the pinnacle of modern high art, cultural and fashion. The problem is that people who actually work at the pinnacle of high art, culture and fashion disagree with Lady Gaga's work being seen as mediocre at best and overly prone to being weird for the sake of being weird. As such the Italians seemed to be highlighting the way that the gay community can be easily fooled and blinded to the wider picture by simple appeals to their vanity. This is of course central to the gay-rights trend at the heart of this years contest.

Through the Roman god inspired stage show and lyrics extolling the virtues of an unspecified Italian city the song "La Mia Città (My City)" seemed to be reminding people - particularly the Roc Nation/Live Nation family - that Italy is considered an artistic, fashion and cultural power house which is why those Americans are forced to visit when they need help. After all it is sometimes said that Jay Z and Beyonce in particular "live like Greek gods" by people who are not paying them a compliment. As such this was clearly Italy embracing European high culture over American low culture.

This message was actually reinforced at last Monday's (5/5/14) Vogue magazine's Met Ball in New York which is considered the pinnacle of the US fashion calender. The theme of the event was a Black & White ball. The Eurovision Song Contest was held at the B&W Hallerne (Hall) in Copenhagen. So while the Roc Nation family (Beyonce, Kim Kardashian, Rihanna etc) all rushed to the Met Ball thinking that their star power would overwhelm the song contest they were actually being reminded that the creative and talented people they rely on to provide them with the clothes and favourable write-ups that make them 'fashion icons' could easily withdraw that assistance. Or as Beyonce sometimes like to pout; "I can have another you by tomorrow / I could have another you in a minute."

Macedonia: With her spiky hair, tattoos and somewhat butch demeanour Macedonia's Tijana is the sort of women you find yourself questioning whether she is gay or straight when you first meet her. If you were to assume that she is gay - as Eurovision's gay fanbase tend to do - you would be wrong. As such she makes a large contribution to gay-rights trend by highlighting that gay-rights activists can be prone to rushing to judgement before they're in possession of all the facts.

This theme was continued by the video in support of the song "To the Sky" which began with images of flames rising from the ground. Azerbaijan is known as "The Land of Fire" because there is so much oil and natural gas there sometimes it seeps to the surface and catches fire of its own accord. The problems that were encountered in the gay-rights element of the Sochi games were of course foreshadowed by the reaction to Azerbaijan's 2013 entry. The video then goes on to feature men in US-style military flight suits which was a reference to the special status that Azerbaijan currently enjoys because its location means it would provide an essential base for US military action against Iran. The video also features Tijana writhing around in a bath tub apparently in the nude only with very obvious flesh-coloured underwear preserving her modesty. This is reminiscent of the video for "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga whom the Italians were very focused on and - to a lesser extent - Rihanna's "Stay" video. By joining in with the aggressive pushing of the bounds of taste and decency Macedonia was having a laugh at the US' attempts to send us all into a moral panic over Miley Cyrus' revealing stage costumes and Rihanna's topless photographs.

In her biography much is made of the fact that Tijana comes from a very musical family with a music professor father and an opera singer mother. Tijana herself graduated from music college and became a classical cellist who has played with the Macedonian national orchestra and the international orchestra in Leipzig, Germany. Apart from being a slight and complimentary reference to Marvel Comics "Agents of Shield" series this highlights Macedonia's achievements in high culture while touching on the issue of Rihanna's education.

So although they technically didn't make it into the final I think they were robbed and Macedonia can feel rightly proud of their entry which apart from being technically accomplished seemed very much aware of the wider trends at this years contest. So much so that if I'd covered them on Thursday (8/5/14) it would have spoilt everything.

Poland: By far the most eye catching entry of the year was by Polish born hip hop/rap producer Donatan and featured hip hop style beats alongside lyrics about Polish/Slavic identity alongside traditional costumes. As such it addressed the high culture versus low culture debate by saying that because Poland has a strong national identity of its own it is happy to see both influences blended together. This was reflected in the fact that the song used both Polish and English (American) lyrics. However it also seemed to feature a warning that if people like Jay Z, Chris Brown or Drake were to try pulling their fake gangster cr*p in that part of the world they'd better bring a lot of security with them.

With lyrics such as; "We're Slavic girls, we know how to use our charming beauty," "Vodka is better than whisky and gin, The best in us whatever you want" and "No better than our Slavic girls" along with an overtly sexual presentation including a video that is racier than some porn films I've seen Poland's entry was keen to portray Slavic women as party girls or the "Hoes" featured in hip hop/rap videos. As such it was making a very large contribution to the trend of the sexual objectification of eastern European women and its role in sex trafficking.

However to me this all seemed intended to disguise a much darker purpose to the entry. A very significant figure in Slavic/Russian politics is Vladimir the Great who was the 10th Century King of what was then known as "Kievan-Rus" which was made up of parts of Russia, Ukraine and Poland. Vladimir's great achievement was converting the Pagan Slavs of Kievan-Rus to what is now Russian Orthodox Christianity and he himself was baptised a Christian in Crimea. For this achievement and fighting some wars alongside Scandinavian (Viking) Kings Vladimir the Great was made a Saint and took the name Saint Basil II in honour of Saint Basil the Great. Although it is officially named after Saint Basil the third who came later the large, onion domed Cathedral in Moscow that everyone mistakes for the Kremlin is actually Saint Basil's Cathedral. Current Russian President Vladimir Putin's "Strong Russia" identity is very much built around the Russian Orthodox Church and has seen Saints including Vladimir the Great venerated once again. In fact when signing the documents allowing Crimea to re-join Russia Putin spoke at length about Vladimir the Great.

So by reminding Slavs of their hot Slavic blood, their Slavic genes and their Pagan history alongside an uptempo, energetic tune accompanied by the type of sexual imagery that gets the testosterone pumping Poland appeared to be inciting western Slavs in Ukraine on which groups like Right Sector, Svoboda and the Ukrainian Insurgent Army (UIA) form a lot of their identity to go and fight eastern Slavs in Ukraine. That's because although they're generally all Slavs there is a lot of tension between western and eastern Slavs in the way that there is a lot of tension amongst Northern Ireland's Christians. Also a lot of the anti-Kiev groups in the east have shown signs of re-connecting with their rival Cossack heritage.

As such I think there are not only very serious questions about whether Poland should have been disqualified from the Eurovision Song Contest for very clearly violating the founding principle of "promoting tolerance" but also whether they should be allowed to participate in future European Union (EU) discussions on Ukraine. That's because Poland's song contest entry very much reflects Poland's wider, rabid approach to Ukraine where they seem intent on inflaming the situation - presumably in an effort to provoke a war between NATO and Russia 

Anyway at 16:30 on 12/5/14 (UK date) all this talk of Polish and Ukrainian aggression has caused my computer to slow right down. So I'll be back after dinner with the UK's entry and bit of tidying up. Hopefully then I will finally be finished.

Edited at around 18:50 on 12/5/14 (UK date) to add;

The United Kingdom (UK): Certainly since the 2012 Summer Olympics in London the UK has trumpeted itself as the World leader in cultural soft-power. However it has a long history of sending utter cr*p to the Eurovision Song Contest. In 2013 it brought Bonnie Tyler out of retirement to push the issue of my then recently deceased Welsh grandmother onto the agenda. In 2012 I'm pretty sure Britain exhumed Engelbert Humperdinck in the hope he would attract votes from elderly eastern European women. As such in song contest circles the UK is viewed as highly arrogant considering their best soft-power efforts to be far too good to be wasted on such a silly contest.

The UK's 2014 entry "Children of the Universe" was intended to tackle this head on with great efforts being made to present the singer - Molly Smitten-Downes - as a credible popstar within the UK. So for example much was made of the fact she'd won best Urban/Pop act at the Live and Unsigned contest, 'Best Song' at the Best of British Unsigned Music Awards and was participating in the BBC's "Introducing" program when she was picked to compete in Eurovision. It was also made quite clear that Molly had collaborated with the well known "DJ Sash!"and had supported Beyonce on some of the UK dates of her 2013 tour. However one suspects that she was only handed these honours because she had already been selected as the UK's entry into the song contest. Her first name "Molly" is a slang term for the illegal drug "MDMA/Ecstasy" which seems to have been referenced a lot in mainstream pop-music recently perhaps most noticeably by Rihanna in "Diamonds." As such Smitten-Downes was chosen in a large part to bring up the issues of drug use and Rihanna - two issues that should have overlapped extensively during Rihanna's 2013 tour.

Apart from being a slight reference to the BBC TV show "Doctor Who" the "Universe" that appeared constantly throughout the song was a reference to the notion of "Divine Right" under which Monarchs rule or "Manifest Destiny" which is similar concept adopted by the first Protestant settlers of the US. Essentially it means that they are anointed by God to succeed in whatever they do. As their success is pre-determined they obviously don't have to ask themselves the question of whether they've succeeded or failed. Apart from the belief that they had secret, insider knowledge it was in this context that the UK was referencing Rihanna because despite all the evidence to the contrary both the UK and the US still appear to believe that their Rihanna operation was 100% successful and they should carry on with it. The fact that the UK had clearly started the groundwork for the 2014 song contest as far back as 2012 helped to reinforce this point because why would they need to question how things went during the Sochi games because obviously they succeeded at that too.

Lyrics like; "We're shining like diamonds" and "I'll never walk alone" were intended as references to other recent UK soft-power efforts in the form of the Rihanna operation and the attempts to link the Hillsborough Inquest to Northern Irish politics respectively. The chorus where the lyric; "Power to the people" was just repeated over and over again was supposed to be the UK boasting that it was so good at soft-power it could control people across the World and get them marching to its tune. By contrast lyrics such as; "We're children of the universe" and "Just Children" were intended to promote discussion about whether anyone else shared the UK's amazing confidence in it's own abilities.

Although I may have slightly influenced the public voting by Tweeting a link to the song "Heaven Knows" by US band "The Pretty Reckless" which seems to have unintentionally heavily influenced the UK's entry it seemed that everyone at Eurovision had already made up their mind about the UK by that point. So for example while we were waiting for the public voting to take place and all the votes to be counted and merged the Danish TV hosts made a great spectacle of presenting Molly with a Rihanna-style birthday cake even though it wasn't her birthday. This felt very much like Eurovision telling the UK to p*ss off.

Denmark: As hosts the Danes not only had to enter a song but also had to put on all the production surrounding the broadcast. They performed this task exceptionally well with most the opening sequences being so grand they often made the first act on stage look a bit rubbish by comparison. However the Danish entry did seem a bit thin because no-one wants the hassle of staging the contest two years in a row.

Their song "Cliche Love Song" was performed by Basim who is of Moroccan origin. This was to highlight that the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) includes nations such as Morocco. It was also a contribution to the sex trafficking theme by highlighting that amongst southern European states there is a growing problem of women being trafficked into western Europe from sub-Saharan Africa as well as eastern Europe. This is something that Willow Smith took a swing at and missed by being photograph on a bed with a much older white man. The fact that Boko Haram and the campaigners who support them have been able to so neatly position themselves within this debate is why people know that they are being backed by certain European nations. Especially ones who are heavily involved in the oil industry despite having little or no oil of their own.

The overall tone of the Danish entry was Bruno Mars or more specifically his half-time show at the most recent Superbowl. This was a somewhat lazy contribution to the gay-rights theme because the US were the main driving force behind the Sochi failure and the Superbowl half-time show was a large part of the US effort. It was in the few hours after the Eurovision Song Contest had ended that Micheal Sam was drafted making him the first openly gay player in the NFL. This was intended to bring up the US' approach to gay-rights in Sochi which seemed centred on the US screaming about how much more tolerant then Russia it was with someone new coming out as gay seemingly every single day.

Mainly though the Danish reference to the Superbowl was to point out that the Eurovision Song Contest is the second most watched event in the World just behind the Superbowl. However with many people only watching the Superbowl for the half-time shows and the adverts you could argue that the song contest is by far the culturally superior event and with China broadcasting the Eurovision Song Contest for the first time it could well overtake the Superbowl as the World's biggest spectacle.


I know I say it every year but I need to finish off by saying how impressed I was by the very high standard of this years contest because there didn't seem to be any duds at all. Even with the Albanian and Georgian entries which I singled out it was more a case of them being the least best entries rather then the worst.

If anything I'm slightly worried that the standard might have become too high because while I have a certain aptitude for this and time to do research a lot of the people who watch the song contest do so casually because it is on in the Saturday evening prime-time slot. With such a high standard there is a very real risk that a lot of what is going on will simply go over most people's heads causing them to lose interest. For example Poland's entry topped the public vote in the UK but the UK panel who'd looked at it in more detail and taken advice from the foreign intelligence service rated it 25th out of 25 making it quite clear that the UK does not want to be seen endorsing that sort of behaviour.

As such it might be time to either lower the standard or change the voting system with the panels being given greater weighting then the public vote. After all the difference between democracy and mob rule is that under democracy we choose people to specialise in complex issues on our behalf rather then trying to decide on every complex issue ourselves. 


(Originally Posted) 20:15 on 12/5/14 (UK date).

The 2014 Eurovision Song Contest: The Grand Final.

Saturday (10/5/14) evening saw the grand final of the 2014 Eurovision Song Contest held in Copenhagen, Denmark. It was won by Austria with The Netherlands and Sweden finishing in second and third position respectively. However before I start talking about the winning entries I should start by discussing the main trends at this year's competition. Not least because I'm actually writing this up offline several hours before the start of the final.

Kim Kardashian: Or perhaps more accurately the mystery of my relationship with Kim Kardashian and specifically that time she crashed my Twitter timeline during the 2014 Winter para-Olympic opening ceremony. I must confess that having heard all the jokes about the sex tape, the 72 day marriage, being famous for no apparent reason when I was introduced to Kim Kardashian (via Twitter) I was fully expecting to not like her at all. So imagine my annoyance in discovering that I do actually quite like Kim Kardashian. Not in any way that Kanye West needs to be jealous off but we do seem to have a few things in common such as our ages and well I'm essentially just a gossipy housewife at the heart. Plus I think that motherhood really seems to suit Kim Kardashian.

Obviously to understand Kim Kardashian's feelings about me you will need to speak to her. However I am aware that Kim Kardashian is of Armenian heritage and as a world famous Armenian is expected to know a lot about Armenian culture and history including the slaughter of 1.5million Armenians by troops from the Ottoman-Turk Empire in Van in 1915. Whether or not those killings can be described as a "genocide" is still hotly contested within international politics. However due to this knowledge of Europe and its sometimes bloody history I think it is fair to say that Kim Kardashian understands the stakes of the current situation in Ukraine in a way that most Americans simply do not.

As a result of this trend it seemed compulsory that every dark haired female (and one male) contestant had to resemble Kim Kardashian in some way, shape or form. Curiously Armenia was one of the few nations not to join in with this trend seeming to make great efforts to avoid dark haired women in both of their stage performances.

Eastern High Culture Versus Western Low Culture: This was a topic that was raised during the Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia and has been expanded on at Eurovision. As a result many former Soviet states such as Moldova, Albania and Slovenia to name but a few entered songs that represented a strong understanding of classical music and opera either through the style of the songs themselves or in the artist's background. This is in direct contrast to previous years where the former Soviet states have entered really trashy pop/dance songs presumably in the belief that it what people in the west like.

 

By far the best contribution to this discussion though came from France with their song "Moustache" by "TWIN TWIN." Although seemingly silly at first glance Moustache actually has quite a serious message about a man who has all the consumerist status symbols that a man could want but would happily trade it all for the ability to grow a moustache. As such it seems to be suggesting that the man is only chasing all these consumer fashions and trends to cover up the fact that he is not a proper man with a moustache being a symbol of masculine identity.

Obviously under Communism consumer capitalism was banned meaning that when the Soviet Union collapsed people in the former Soviet States embraced it in a big way with Levi jeans and McDonalds burgers becoming huge status symbols. This race to embrace American trash culture also seems to have been reflected in former Soviet States previous Eurovision entries and the growing popularity of sub-par hip hop/rap music of the type peddled by Chris Brown and Drake. However as the former Soviet States grow in confidence they seem happier to embrace the high culture of the Soviet years as evidenced by this year's entries. As such the French seemed to be posing the question of whether it is a lack of national identity in these former Soviet states that is driving their obsession with American consumerism.

So although some might criticise France's entry for being overtly political against contest rules I think it just about gets away with it because it is talking about a broad social trend rather then a specific political issue. Plus it was that good you have absolutely no trouble believing the list of famous and talented people that TWIN TWIN claim to have worked with.

The Sexual Objectification of Women: Or more specifically the sexual objectification of eastern European women and the role it plays in prostitution in western Europe and pan-European sex trafficking.

Membership of the European Union (EU) particularly the Schengen Agreement allows for the free movement of people across national borders with no questions being asked. This is obviously great news for anyone who wants to go and live in another EU nation for the cultural experience or simply to find better paid work. However it is also great news for organised crime gangs who kidnap young women in eastern European nations and then sell them into prostitution in western Europe. After all few people have the time to ask whether their whore is a Slavic girl from Poland which is an EU member state or a Slavic girl from Ukraine which is not an EU member state. In short the film "Taken" only really differs from reality because in reality there is rarely a movie star hero to sweep in and save the day.

 

It is issues such as these which means that I find the efforts of western liberal elites to suppress parties such as UKIP who are trying to have a grown up conversation about EU immigration policy including its negative aspects really annoying. After all even amongst my - shall we say - more shadowy associates there is an understanding that you keep as far away as possible from people traffickers because there is simply very little they will not do. Obviously this negative aspect of immigration is something that nations who oppose the policy of free movement of people for more selfish, economic reasons are keen to focus on. However even within the Schengen Agreement there are many things that can be done to tackle this problem with legalised prostitution with a system of licensing and inspection being the most obvious solution.

This trend was touched on through the battle of the sexes of Lithuania's entry and the overt and intentional misogyny of Belerus' "Cheesecake." It was then expanded on by Poland's somewhat pornographic "We Are Slavic" and Russia's Tolmachevy Twins. This featured two, very young blond girls who are veterans of the borderline paedophilic Junior Eurovision Song Contest holding up what appeared to be giant glass dildos as they were tied up - ass to ass - by their hair. It was Switzerland though who really crowned this discussion with the video for their entry "Hunter of Stars" portraying the singer Seblater as the ever helpful hotel concierge that everybody loves because he brings them 'extra pillows'. The fact that the Swiss song managed to hide some extremely dark lyrics behind such a happy and cheerful tune really helped to highlight how we all seem happy to ignore this hidden problem.

Gay-Rights: Or more specifically the collective failure of Europe's gay-rights activists to take advantage of the Sochi Winter Olympics to further the cause of gay-rights in Russia.

Although I think governmental mischief and wider geo-political issues played a significant role in this failure I found the way the gay-rights issue was handled in Sochi to be hugely disappointing. That is because it seemed as though the Russian hosts had gone to great lengths to make sure that all the issues behind homophobia in Russia were neatly lined up for more enlightened, western gay-rights activists to help knock down. Unfortunately the international gay community seemed to collectively choke at the opportunity and simply imploded.

This failure was somewhat foreshadowed at the 2013 song contest by the reaction to Azerbaijan's entry. That featured a man dancing on top of a perspex box containing another man dressed all in black who was acting as his shadow. Eurovision's large gay viewership immediately took this as a metaphor for the man's hidden homosexuality and started hyperventilating. However the real issue being addressed was much wider and much more serious then gay-rights and was re-visited more clearly in Azerbaijan's 2014 entry. If you've worked out what that issue is I'm sure you'll appreciate why it still isn't appropriate for me in my role as "The Big, Booming Voice of god" to shout about it.

As a result many of this year's Eurovision's entries featured subtle little references to Azerbaijan's 2013 entry in an effort to remind gay-rights activists that they perhaps need to calm down a bit because while important gay-rights are important they are not the be all and end all of life on earth. With lyrics about waking up amid the rubble and being forced to walk across broken glass before rising from the ashes like a Phoenix one of the leading voices in this criticism was Austria's Conchita Wurst which has to be one of the most gloriously gay Eurovision entries ever.

Although I don't think it quite justifies being elevated to the status of a full trend there also seemed to be an undercurrent of discussion about Eurovision's taste and decency rules covering how overtly sexual an act can be, how much flesh a performer can flash and whether or not they can use swear words. Rather then being a response to the US' efforts to cause hysteria over this issue through Miley Cyrus and Rihanna this is almost a constant discussion at Eurovision. That's because the contest has to appeal to viewers in Islamic nations such as Jordan where a women with her hair uncovered is considered risque alongside more puritan nations such as Britain where the sight of a heaving bosom could cause a national panic and more liberal European nations such as France and Italy who couldn't really care less if performers turned up fully nude.

As a result many of the videos supporting entries featured lots of female leg and thigh being flashed and several featured women supposedly nude whilst writhing around in bathtubs while Poland's entry rather speaks for itself. The video for Italy's entry "La Mia Citta" even featured the singer Emma wearing an Alexander Wang Principle 1.2.6 campaign style beanie hat emblazoned with the word "Fuck." This aggressive boundary pushing seemed to be Eurovision having a collective laugh about US attempts to drive us all wild with the scandal of Miley Cyrus' stage costumes or Rihanna being photographed topless. Also it seemed to be making the point that it is quite difficult to bring up issues relating to sexuality, prostitution and sex trafficking without making sexual references and the Eurovision rules are certainly a lot tighter then those applied to the modern pop-industry. However those rules are deliberately tight in order to inspire creativity, make people work harder keeping dross like Taylor Momsen out.

Anyway it was around track 13 that I decided that I really needed a drink to take the edge off. After a further 13 songs some 'interesting' half-time entertainment while the voting took place and then the nail-biting announcement of the results I think it is probably best that I go to bed before writing more. However I can't resist saying a few words about our new queen of Eurovision;

Austria: Although I don't know him that well I strongly suspect that Tom Neuwirth - the man behind "Conchita Wurst" is a homosexual. However that does not mean that he thinks he is a woman or is either a transvestite or a transsexual. Instead he is a drag act which means that by wearing women's clothes when he performs he is simply putting on a costume and assuming a character in order to entertain. Basically he is just a type of clown.

Your first clue that Neuwirth doesn't expect to be taken seriously as a women when he appears as Conchita Wurst should be that he has not only gone to the trouble of growing a beard but he keeps that beard whilst in character. As such Conchita Wurst is the archetypal "Bearded Lady" from circus freak-shows throughout the world. This is a little nod to the fact that Eurovision is widely considered as the worlds greatest freak-show. In fact every year there is the unofficial presentation of the "What The F*ck?! (WTF) award. This dates back to the early days of the song contest when the world was a much less interconnected place and the contest was very much a one day affair at which nations would turn up to make their bold cultural statement in their native language only for absolutely no-one else to have any idea what they were going on about. However in more recent years nations have deliberately targeted this award in order to boost their international profile by standing out as the most strange and memorable entry.
Through her physical appearance Conchita Wurst obviously played into the Kim Kardashian theme and particularly through an introductory video (postcard) which portrayed her sorting through magnificent gowns like some sort of fashion expert. However Austria's references to Kim Kardashian were very light hearted and playful in an effort to engage other nations in discussion about what Austria saw as something pretty obvious and help guide those nations in the right direction. So where every other nation was falling over themselves to award Austria maximum points Austria awarded maximum points to Armenia. Obviously holding the 2015 contest in Armenia on almost the exact date of the 100th anniversary of the Van massacre would have placed a lot of pressure on Turkey.
Obviously the main thrust of Austria's entry was the gay-rights issue and not only was this done through the lyrics but the song was very much in the style of the big ballads used as theme songs for James Bond movies. James Bond is of course the world famous British secret agent so this seemed to be a reference to the role that spy agency mischief and wider geo-politics played in screwing up the gay-rights element of the Sochi Winter Olympics.
Edited at around 14:00 on 11/5/14 (UK date) to add; Obviously I finished mid-paragraph last night.
The Netherlands: Their entry "Calm After the Storm" by The Common Linnets was all about helping to bring their traditional ally Britain back into the European fold by pushing Miley Cyrus onto the agenda whilst she was in the UK at the start of the European leg of her tour. As such much was made of the fact that the band had spent a lot of time in Miley Cyrus' hometown of Nashville, US honing their craft. The "white lines" supposedly representing road markings that were projected onto the stage during the performance were intended to represent cocaine in an effort to fuel entirely false rumours that Miley Cyrus' recent health has been caused by excessive cocaine use although even that rumour has been struggling to find traction. Even the title of the song was supposed to suggest that for Europe Miley Cyrus is the calm following the storm of last years Rihanna tour although I'm pretty sure this has got to be the first time Miley Cyrus has been described as a calming influence.
Through her appearance the Common Linnets female vocalist - Ilse DeLange - appears to have made great efforts to resemble UK pop-singer Duffy who was reasonably famous in the last decade particularly for her debut song "Mercy." As such the Dutch were challenging to Israeli accusation that old Europe's Protestant Monarchies - of which the Dutch House of Orange are central players - lack mercy whilst at the same time enquiring as to what Moldova meant with their song "Wild Soul."
The somewhat sneaky trick the Dutch played was to wrap this rather unpopular political agenda up in actually a rather good song which although unlikely to become a sales hit certainly seems capable of finding space on radio play-lists across Europe. As such this brought up the contest's voting system which - apart from exceptional circumstances - gives 50% of a nation's vote to panels made up people from within the music/entertainment industry and 50% to the public through televoting.
Although they are under some obligation to recognise artistic achievement these panels don't really have to explain why they've voted the way that they did and are certainly allowed to base a large part of their decisions on the vague notion of their "general impression of an act" which means they are able to award votes based on the political agenda of an act and how a national team has performed on the gauntlet of red carpets, fan meet and greets and press interviews that take place throughout the week long contest. The public on the other hand tend to simply vote for the song that sounds the best to them based on the performance in the final. While I've not done a full statistical analysis of the results based on a quick glance it appears that the Dutch tended to be marked down by the panels but were elevated by the public votes.
On this issue of the voting system in a bit of a scandal the Georgian panel votes were excluded due to unspecified irregularities meaning that only their public votes were counted. Although I don't know the exact details the message from this appears to be that the Georgian authorities are still not trusted by people in Europe.
Sweden: Their entry "Undo" by Sanna Nielsen very much reflected Sweden's fears that it is becoming increasingly isolated within European politics. Although they have managed to do it incredibly discreetly and subtly Sweden have taken a very hawkish position on every major issue such as Syria, Ukraine and the US and the UK's Rihanna operation. With lyrics such as; "Silent I just stood there silent" and "Trouble baby I’m in trouble" Sweden is suggesting that for far too long it has simply gone with the flow and is questioning whether it is time for them to break away from the Protestant Monarchy minority made up the UK, the Netherlands, Belgium and the US and join up with the majority view in European politics. However through lyrics such as; "Gotta make a change, And make some noise" Sweden's seems to be indicating that it intends to continue on its current path particularly when it comes to Ukraine.
As for why the song did so well it is a big ballad and Eurovision voters do love big ballads. Also there is something of a Scandinavian mafia in Eurovision voting with the longstanding joke being that if you live in Norway, Denmark or Iceland you are - by law - only allowed to vote for Sweden. Finally by being placed in the top three Sweden's entry will receive a lot more attention and therefore discussion than if it had placed fifth or even fourth.

So there are the top three finishes from the 2014 Eurovision Song Contest. Obviously I can't write up every single entry in this level of detail or I'd still be doing it by the time the 2015 contest begins. However later to day or perhaps more likely tomorrow I will write up some of the more stand-out entries. In the meantime feel free to enjoy how this post originally ended as shown below.

15:40 on 11/5/14 (UK date).
 

Yep I'm clearly too far gone to complete that point or any of the many other points that Conchita Wurst so beautifully encapsulated. However before I go I should point out that "Vladimir the Great" was the 10th Century King of Kievan-Rus (modern Ukraine) who converted the Pagan Slavs to Russian Orthodox Christianity. He was himself baptised a Christian in Crimea and current Russian President Vladimir Putin referenced Vladimir the Great in the speech marking Crimea's re-entry to Russia. As such Poland's attempt to remind Ukrainians of their "[western] Slavic Blood" seemed very much like an incitement to ethnic cleansing and seems to have had some impact in Mariupol on Friday (9/5/14). As such I feel forced to say;

Poland. "No Ethnic Cleansing" isn't even the first rule of Eurovision. Do you know why it's not the first rule of Eurovision?! It's because it's so f*cking obvious no-one thought we would need an actual f*cking written rule!!"

Mind the you the way the Poles managed to disguise that in many different clothes should give you a clue as to why here in the lazy and entitled UK we are absolutely terrified of Polish immigration.

(Originally Posted) 00:00 on 11/5/14 (UK date).

The 2014 Eurovision Song Contest: 2nd Semi-Final.

As I explained in my post about the first semi-final there is no central theme to this years Eurovision Song Contest and in the interests of giving a fair chance to all nations throughout the week long competition I am limited in what I can say. I can though say what I like about the five nations that were knocked out tonight;

Georgia: In 2008 Georgia declared war on Russia in the hope that the inevitable Russian counter-attack would cause the European Union (EU) and NATO to immediately leap to Georgia's aid defeating Russia militarily. Funnily enough this didn't happen and since then Georgia has been isolated by both the EU and NATO although the US have recently taken to trotting out then Georgian President Mikheil Saakashvilli in response to the situation in Ukraine as if Saakashvilli is some sort of expert on Russian/EU relations.

Featuring lyrics like; "Show us the stairway to come back to Earth – sky diver’s space jump! Lead those three minutes longin’ for love" Georgia's entry "Three Minutes to Earth" by "The Shin and Mariko" was all about Georgia pleading to be allowed back from the political wilderness while showcasing Georgian folk music. Perhaps in an effort to highlight the effect this isolation is having on them that is all there was to Georgia's entry. Although there isn't a central theme to this years contest there are a number of trends that are shared between different nations to differing extents. Georgia's entry completely ignored all of these and - it must be said - wasn't particularly good meaning that it simply didn't deserve a place in the final.

Lithuania: Their entry "Attention" by "Vilija Matačiūnaitė" is all about her getting chatted up by a guy in a bar. She performs on stage with a male dancer whom she constantly seems to be battling for dominance. As Lithuania's entry touches on the issue of gender equality that is expanded on by other nations into the trend of sexual violence against women and sex trafficking in particular.

The main thrust of Lithuania's entry though was Rihanna specifically the opening two acts ("Phresh off the Runway" and "Man Down") of the Diamonds World Tour. As a result Matačiūnaitė took to the stage in black outfit featuring a hooped short skirt which was intended to create speculation that she might end up flashing her, erm, 'Birthday Cake.' The song even featured the lyric; "I’m not gonna ask you buy me diamonds" and was originally written in the light reggae-style of "Man Down" and "You da One." As such this was yet another nation pointing out to the US that it wasn't in any way troubled by the Rihanna operation because they can in fact do that sort of thing for themselves. However on this occasion there was no expression of support for Germany.

Rihanna has of course been something of a micro-trend within this years competition but one that seemed to limited only to the Baltic nations. Joining Latvia and Estonia from the first semi-final the elimination of Lithuania means that none of these nations made it through to the final. Sadly for Rihanna the message from Eurovision appears to be that they consider her to be a spent force and yesterday's news. Any nation that failed to work that one out for themselves appears to have been rejected as not being up to the standard of the final.

22:00 on 8/5/14 (UK date). I'll add more tomorrow.

Edited at around 13:35 on 9/5/14 (UK date) to add;

Israel: Every year Israel provide me with an opportunity to explain that although there is a lot of overlap these days the entire Eurovision project of which the Song Contest is simply a part has nothing to do with the European Union (EU). Instead it is part of the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) which is much older and much broader including nations as far afield as Morocco, Libya and Jordan. In recent years there has even been serious talk of allowing Australia to join because the song contest is very popular over there despite the fact they have to get up at around 06:00 to watch it live. This year Australia were even granted a sort of official observer status being allowed perform a segment during the voting in this second semi-final.

As I think I've mentioned more then once Israel are currently very angry at the US. Primarily this is because of the ever worsening situation in Syria with which Israel is technically still at war. However unusually in a world where everything is expressed through metaphor or euphemism Israel is also actually furious with the US over the way they are treating Rihanna. Israel's entry expressed that anger through the very dark song "Same Heart." This was performed by Mei Feingold who like the US pop-star "P!nk" has the sort of athletic presence that has you questioning whether she is gay or straight. With lyrics such as; "I'm, skinning you out, No longer a part. We don't beat from the same heart." Israel was making it quite clear that as a predominately Jewish republic it has nothing in common with Europe's predominately Protestant Monarchies that seem to have no problem with the situation in Syria or the US' treatment of Rihanna.

As always Israel's entry suffered in the voting due to a boycott campaign that is officially in protest against Israel's treatment of the Palestinians. However in this context it does also provide an opportunity for discussion about the rising levels of anti-Semitism in Europe.
 
Ireland: Their song "Heartbeat" was performed by "Cann-Linn" with Kasey Smith on vocals. Amid the backstage publicity efforts much was made of the fact that Smith had spent a year in Nashville, Tennessee, US honing her craft. Now this could have simply been an effort to highlight that there is actually a huge Country & Western/Rockabilly music scene in Ireland. However it seemed more like an effort to push famous Nashville resident Miley Cyrus onto the Eurovision agenda as she began the European portion of her tour in London, UK. This Irish obsession with the US continued with the dark haired Smith at times seeming to resemble Kim Kardashian with her stage costume invoking thoughts of Katy Perry who was performing in Belfast, UK during this second semi-final.

With lyrics all about rising up and trying again and keeping your head above the water Ireland's entry was very much about the nations political future as it exits from its Eurozone bailout and re-emerges rehabilitated into normal society. The lyrics about breaking the border and the wall being paper thin were intended to promote fears that re-energised Ireland's Catholics might try to resume their war of independence from Britain by re-claiming Northern Ireland. However people with a deeper knowledge of Ireland know that due to centuries of British colonisation Ireland actually has quite a substantial Protestant population. Normally this isn't much of an issue within Irish politics but on this occasion it certainly appears as though those Protestants were put in charge of the Eurovision entry.

This elimination represents only the third time that the most successful nation in the contest's history has failed to qualify for the final since the qualification system was introduced in 2004. It is also one of the first occasions in which Ireland has abandoned its famous policy of neutrality in favour of a partisan political position.

Malta: OK technically it was the Former Yugoslav Republic (FYR) of Macedonia who were eliminated. However I think they were robbed as they seemed to be on course for a strong middle of the table finish in the final. So instead I'm going to talk about Malta.

Coming on the 100th anniversary of the start of the First World War (WW1) Malta's entry "Coming Home" was officially dedicated to memories of the soldiers who fought in that war - many of whom have still not come home. However in the back stage publicity effort much has been made of the fact that the song's writer and lead singer of the band "Firelight" grew up in Malta before travelling to the UK for work before returning to Malta. As such the song also seemed to be about migration within the EU. Performed very much in the style of the British band "Mumford & Sons" it seemed specifically to be about Britain's attitude towards migration within the EU while perhaps suggesting that Britain would be happier going back to the old Empire dominated Europe of the pre-WW1 era.

Although this is a valid topic for conversation it isn't one that seems to have been picked up by any other competitor at this years contest. As such Malta either seems to be completely oblivious to everything that is going on around it or is bravely ploughing its own furrow depending on how you choose to look at it. Most importantly though it seems as though rather then speaking with its own voice about issues that are important to it Malta has simply been handed a script to read out and that script doesn't seem to be particularly accurate. To my mind that doesn't make them finalist material.



(Originally Posted) 14:40 on 9/5/14 (UK date).

The 2014 Eurovision Song Contest: 1st Semi-Final.

The 2013 Eurovision Song Contest was a very coherent affair built around the central theme of the European Union's (EU) relationship with Russia with the issue of homophobia being used as a metaphor. It was won by Denmark's Emmelie de Forest with a song entitled "Only Teardrops" which beautifully referenced The Skorpians song "Winds of Change" with its use of whistles and flutes. Winds of Change is widely acknowledged as the song that helped create the atmosphere for the fall of the Berlin Wall and the end of the Cold War from which both the EU and modern Russia were born.

Since the 2013 contest we have seen the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia in which gay-rights was a major theme and the relationship between the EU and Russia was called into sharp focus by the situation in Ukraine. As such the 2014 contest is serving as something of a review of the Sochi Olympics. However the Sochi Olympics only ended about eight weeks ago which really isn't enough time to put a Eurovision entry together. As a result this year's contest is shaping up to be a much more disjointed affair with nations all trying to raise their own individual points for discussion rather then there being one central theme.

Before I talk any further about the 2014 contest though I should point out that the modern Eurovision Song Contest is so much more then simply Saturday's (10/45/14) final. The contest actually opened on Sunday (4/5/14) evening and since then the contestants have been busy with red carpet appearances, meet and greets with fans, social media campaigns and traditional TV, radio, newspaper and magazine interviews which are accompanied by the media relations games and spin tricks that are common in the entertainment  industry. In short they're trying to condense the entire experience of being a modern pop star into one short week. As such if I go into too much detail about the acts featured in the first semi-final it hands an unfair advantage to the acts in Thursday's (8/5/14) second semi-final and the six automatic qualifiers to the final.

I can though say whatever I like about the six nations that were knocked out in the first semi-final. Or at least I can make a start;

Latvia: Their song "Cake to Bake" by Aarzemnieki initially seemed popular with the hashtag #CaketoBake being the number 1 worldwide Twitter trend throughout most of the semi-final. Essentially this song was ripping the p*ss out of the US with lyrics such as; "I melted the ice of the polar caps, found the raiders of the lost ark, solved a case for the genius from Baker Street, helped to clean the Central Park. I created the plan for the Chinese wall, went to desert, made it rain, swam through a shark tank bloodily, found Atlantis, by the way..." all sung in the whiny style of 'artists' such as Jason Mraz and other tediums who contribute to the genre known as "Nursery rhymes for grown-ups."

The song took specific aim at the US' Rihanna operation both with it's title and lyrics such as; "I've got a cake to bake – I’ve got no clue at all(!)" before going on to lay out both Chris Brown and Drake's blueprint or recipe to manipulate Rihanna into a relationship with either of them through the lyrics; "Mix some dough, add some love, let it bake, wait for it" because "dough" is slang for "money," you can say that people who smoke marijuana enjoy getting 'baked' and I think we all know how interested Rihanna is in her 'cake.'

The fact that the lead singer Joran Steinhauer is already quite famous in both Latvia and his native Germany due to his 2013 Internet hit song "Paldies Latiņam!" which wishes fond goodbye to Latvia's currency the Lat as the nation entered the Eurozone means that the Latvians seemed to be indicating that while they're not best pleased with the US they are perfectly happy as members of the EU in which Germany is a key player, especially in these debt ridden days.

Aarzemnieki could also serve to highlight why I need to behave myself during Eurovision week. While I was researching the contestants on the Eurovision.tv website on Monday (5/4/14) Rihanna popped up on my Twitter timeline in that way she tends to when she needs my help with something. I responded by sending her a link to Latvia's song. As a result Rihanna could have mobilised her considerable digital fan-base to make sure that the people who had insulted their icon was banished from the competition. As it turns out I had to do even that for her.

Belgium: Their song "Mother" was sung by Axel Hirsoux who is clearly fat enough to be an opera singer but who is equally clearly not talented enough. With lyrics such as; "And once again mother, You are right there mother, You are my guiding light, My shoulder, my shelter, my satellite, I'm weak, you're bright." the song was billed as a tribute to mothers everywhere and the role that mothers and women in general play in society. However in reality I think it was just a personal attack against me.
This all goes back to a time when I used to talk about my relationship with my kidnapped lesbian wife. Although I don't remember ever putting it quite this pretentiously I used to describe the type of love we shared as a very nurturing type of love that allowed both parties to grow and become better, more rounded people. This is in contrast to the type of love displayed between first Rihanna and Chris Brown and more recently between Rihanna and Drake which seems far more poisonous intended to destroy the souls of the people it touches and leave them in constant penury and need.

Perhaps not understanding the difference or perhaps just looking for a reason to hate me the British Establishment took this to mean that I was some sort of emotionally weak and needy freak. The British slang term is "Mummy's boy." The fact that this song was sung by a fat man was intended to stick the knife further into me by perpetuating the myth that I am so grotesquely overweight that Rihanna - or any other woman - could never find me attractive. However it must be said that I've always enjoyed women who've got a very long list of reasons why they're definitely not attracted to me.

Anyway it appears that for someone who has sat through a Eurovision semi-final I am nowhere near drunk enough. So now I'm going to go off an rectify that and continue this tomorrow. 


22:30 on 6/5/14 (UK date).

Edited at around 14:10 on 7/5/14 (UK date) to add;

Estonia: Their song "Amazing" was performed by Tanja who was born in Kaliningrad, Soviet Union before moving to Estonia at the age of two. Obviously this story highlights that due to migration during the Soviet Union and in the years before many people in former Soviet states such as Estonia have very strong cultural, linguistic and family ties to Russia. In turn this highlights what a difficult position these former Soviet states are put in by the predominately American demand that in order to forge closer ties with organisations such as the EU and NATO these nations must first break off all ties with Russia. With lyrics such as; "Stay amazing lie (do you hear me screaming?)" seems to be expressing frustration at being forced to choose between either the US or Russia rather then being allowed then being free to form a unique cultural identity.

The way the song was performed was very impressive with Tanja performing a complex modern dance routine whilst singing. This picks up on the theme of Russian high culture versus Western pop culture that played such as large part of the Winter Olympic ceremonies and seems to be expressing a preference for high culture which as I pointed out at the time is something that marks out all former Soviet states rather then being something exclusively Russian. It is also in contrast to previous Eurovision entries from former Soviet states that have tended towards being very trashy. In all the supporting interviews much has been made of the fact that Tanja does indeed sing live throughout her demanding performance without relying on a backing track. This is a reference to the practice of using backing tracks during live performances in general and a specific reference to Rihanna's Diamonds World Tour in which many people commented that at many of her shows rather then performing concerts Rihanna was simply the person with the best seat in the house while a DJ played Rihanna records.

The overall tone of the performance though was very reminiscent of the video for "Stay the Night" by German DJ "ZEDD" featuring US rock star Hayley Williams on vocals which has been a huge success across Europe recently. As with their Baltic neighbour Latvia through this connection Estonia also seemed to be expressing support for Germany while at the same time mocking the US by pointing out that they've got a ginger haired singer who can also pull off the dance moves. However in the topsy-turvy world of Eurovision this could actually be interpreted as Estonian support for the US. After all when you're screwing up your life it is your friends rather than your enemies that will plead with you to stop. Similarly by showing all this love for Germany Estonia could well be expecting favours in return.

Moldova: Their song "Wild Soul" provided one of the most dramatic performances of the evening with the powerfully voiced Cristina Scarlat taking to the stage in the costume of a warrior queen similar to ancient Britain's Boudica, Wagner's Valkyrie Brunnhilde or Daenerys Targaryen for fans of Game of Thrones. This seemed to suit a very passionate song with a chorus about having no mercy.

Moldova neighbours Ukraine and the port city of Odessa in particular. Along with Ukraine Moldova also has a large culturally and ethnically Russian population mainly located in the Transnistria region on the border with Ukraine which is also home to Russia's 14th Army. As such the unrest in Ukraine places Moldova at the centre of a raging storm not unlike the one that forced Seigmund to seek shelter at the start of Wagner's opera. For example in their efforts to portray everything that is happening in Ukraine as a giant Russian conspiracy the US claimed that the lack of support for the Kiev government across southern Ukraine is in fact Russia trying to open up a military corridor in order to seize Transnistria from Moldova. Although this is extremely unlikely to be true if the US continue saying it loudly and frequently enough Russian speakers in Moldova might get ideas and start an uprising of their own.

So rather then expressing support for either the US or Russia Moldova seemed to be expressing frustration at the fact that they don't appear to be allowed to have a say in how their nation is used in this apparent p*ssing contest between Russia and the US.

Albania: In 1997 Albania's economy completely imploded. Without the EU or the IMF on hand to save the day many Albanians simply illegally marched into Serbia's southern Kosovo province. When the Serbs asked them to leave they refused. Unfortunately at the same time then US President Clinton was under heavy domestic pressure over the Monica Lewinsky affair so declaring war on Serbia provided a convenient distraction. This war was quickly won by NATO and through a mixture of political convenience and Serbia's pretty appalling behaviour during the brutal Yugoslav civil war the US and allied old European nations quickly recognised Kosovo as an independent state. However that recognition has been far from universal and there is a lingering feeling that all Albanians are simply thieves. This has been perpetuated by me mainly in reference to Rihanna's rivalry with the ethically Albanian Rita Ora.

Albania's Eurovision entry tackled this perception of a nation of thieves head on with every element of their entry "One Night's Anger" by  Hersi seemingly stolen from somewhere else. For example Hersi is a classically trained singer who has moved into pop music and the song features a classical inspired sequence before moving into a more pop/rock sequence to highlight this. This obviously steals the high culture versus pop culture theme from the Winter Olympic ceremonies with special reference being made to the fact that Hersi has previously performed Carl Orff's Carmina Burana which was sampled in the "Nas" and Puff Daddy track "Hate Me Now." If you squint your eyes and tilt you head to one side Hersi could resemble US singer Selena Gomez while her English pronunciation is pure Shakira. The melody of the song itself is just the melody of a recent and famous pop song which I just can't for the life of me remember. As a final flourish Hersi has apparently had the black Eagle at the centre of the Albanian flag tattooed between her shoulder blades where I myself have a prominent tattoo.

The problem is that Albania's entry was in no way greater then the sum of its parts and this was reflected in their failure to make it through to the final. At the risk of causing more offence the apparent self-obsession of Albania's entry rather then a focus on more pan-European issues probably also counted against them.

Portugal: Their entry "Quero Ser Tua" was in the relatively new "Pimba" style of music and seemed intended to highlight Portugal's links with upcoming football World Cup and Summer Olympic hosts Brazil. It was sung by Suzy who with her long, flowing golden curls could resemble Shakira. As such Portugal seemed to the referencing the recent Shakira song "Can't Remember to Forget You" which featured Rihanna and pointing out that they think Shakira is the superior artist. The big drums used on stage where a reference to the Republic of Ireland's 2013 entry while the shirtless man playing the Djembe type drum was a reference to homosexuality. As such Portugal seemed to be questioning whether its Irish brother in EU bailouts was sure that it wants to pursue a closer relationship with the UK.

In short though a cash strapped Portugal couldn't really justify spending a lot of money on Eurovision resulting in an entry that seemed distinctly lazy. This was reflected in their failure to make it through to the final but it was nice of them to make some effort I suppose.

(Originally Posted) 15:45 on 7/5/14 (UK date).

Eurovision's Going to be Awkward This Year.

Every year members of the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) gather to explore their cultural and political differences through the medium of pop music. A major theme of last year's Eurovision Song Contest was former Soviet states in eastern Europe relationships with Russia who were represented by homophobia and the European Union (EU) which was represented by tolerance for homosexuality. If this theme is going to be continued at the 2014 contest it is likely to be heavily overshadowed by events in Ukraine.

As I feel I've explained dozens of times before towards the end of 2013 US intelligence services massively increased their support from Ukrainian Neo-Nazi groups such as Right Sector and the Ukrainian Insurgent Army (UIA) and encouraged them to wage war against Ukraine's government. The intention being to destabilise a nation along Russia's border in order to punish Russia for it's support for the Syrian government in the face of US backed aggression. In the middle of the 2014 Winter Olympics that were being held nearby in Sochi, Russia the Ukrainian government collapsed. This created legitimate fears that groups like Right Sector and the UIA would then use the apparatus of the Ukrainian state such as the police and army to purge eastern Ukraine of ethnically Russian Slavs. This forced Russia to mass troops within its own border to act as a deterrent and prompted the people of Crimea to hold a referendum and vote to break away from Ukraine.

Since then very little has changed. Sure certain more sensible voices within Ukrainian politics have suggested that Right Sector and the UIA have no place in main stream politics and Aleksandr Muzychko - one of Right Sectors more militant leaders - was recently killed by Ukrainian security forces. However being simply an ideology of violence and hate Ukraine's Neo-Nazis have been swift to silence any and all dissent.

For example last Tuesday (8/4/14) there was an outbreak of violence within the Parliamentary chamber in Kiev. In much of the western media this has largely been dismissed as a simple fight and something of a joke. However what actually happened is that Petro Symonenko - the head of the elected Communist Party - attempted to give a speech denouncing the Neo-Nazis who responded by beating him up and forcing him from the chamber. Although it was completely disregarded by the western media Right Sector followed up the attack on Symonenko by seizing the Head Quarters of his Communist Party in Kiev before burning the building to the ground on Wednesday (9/4/14) night. The western media also appear to have failed to notice an attack on Monday (7/4/14) night by Right Sector on a Jewish cemetery and Holocaust memorial in Odessa in which a number of graves were desecrated.

Under these circumstances it is no great surprise that Russian Slavs in eastern Donbass region have started to form self-defence militias that have recently started to seize control of government buildings and call for referendums allowing the region to leave Ukraine. The US has been quick to label these self-defence militias as "Russian Special Forces" but it seems much more likely that they are simply militias being bankrolled by wealthy Ukrainians from the Donbass region possibly even the Ukrainian President Vicktor Yanukovyvch.

The US' response to this has been inflammatory and reckless to the point of insanity. On Saturday (12/4/14) the director of the CIA John Brennan travelled in secret to Kiev. There he instructed Kiev's self-proclaimed National Security Council of which Right Sector's Dmitry Yarosh is deputy minister to send Ukraine's military into the Donbass region on the pre-text of staging an anti-terrorism operation. However the real reason was to put Ukraine's military in firing range of the Russian troops who are still within Russia. In the short term this was intended to act as a deterrent to Russia but as Russia's military dwarfs Ukraine's this deterrent effect is likely to be limited at best if needed at all. The US' longer term objective is to provoke a war between Ukraine and Russia in the hope of forcing EU and NATO forces to join that conflict on the side of the Ukrainians.

As such I think it is long past time for the EU to get tough with the US by making it clear that there will be no more support for the Kiev government or sanction of Russia until the US demonstrates that its objective is a safe and stable Ukraine which borders both the EU and Russia rather then simply using the situation as an excuse to attack Russia over Syria. As Drake was the stick with which the US has been beating the EU throughout this his future strikes me as a very good place to start.

10:50 on 15/4/14 (UK date).

Edited at around 10:50 on 16/4/14 (UK date) to add;

Using the anniversary of the Boston marathon bombings as cover the US plan for Ukraine yesterday went into motion. This involved Ukrainian troops backed by tanks and fighter jets moving south from the Kharkiv region into the Donetsk region in an effort to re-take the towns of Slaviansk and Kramatorsk. The situation is still very much in flux although fortunately there have been few reports of any violence or deaths. However today defectors from the Ukrainian military having driven light tanks flying the Russian flags into Slaviansk which could be a precursor to a tank battle.

What I found interesting was that immediately as the operation began the Russians startted reporting that people had been killed although those reports have not been verified. Throughout the crisis the US been claiming that the whole thing has been one giant Russian conspiracy intended to provoke violence in order to allow Russia to invade under the pretext of protecting Russian Slavs. By announcing fatalities the Russians seemed to be making the point that they've now got the pre-text to invade but are not doing so because that has never been their intention.

Also yesterday Saudi Arabia effectively sacked Prince Bandar bin Sultan as the head of their intelligence service. Bandar was of course the mastermind behind the plot to launch terrorist attacks against the Sochi Winter Olympics in order to punish Russia over its support for the Syrian government. His dismissal seems to indicate a Saudi acceptance that the US' more subtle approach of starting a conflict in Ukraine and then sanctioning Russia over that conflict is a much more effective way of punishing them for attempting to uphold international law. This of course also highlights the challenge Russia faces over Ukraine because co-operate or not the US are going to be pushing for action to be taken against them anyway.

Of course the situation also highlights that clearly using troops, tanks and fighter jets against your own people is apparently perfectly acceptable but only when the US are telling you to do it.


(Originally Posted on 15/4/14)