The 2014 Eurovision Song Contest: The Stand Outs.

As I've mentioned in my previous posts on this year's Eurovision Song Contest I simply won't have the time to cover all entrants in detail. However aside from the top three finishers and the acts that were knocked out in the semi-finals here are some of the entries that I think particularly stood out;

Iceland: Their song "No Prejudice" by Pollapunk featured an incredibly simple pop-punk arrangement alongside ridiculously childish lyrics such as; "Let’s do away with prejudice, don’t discriminate, tolerance is bliss." However if you read up on the band you would discover that they are all pre-school/Kindergarten teachers and the band was formed as part of their graduate thesis on the way that bright colours, simple tunes and memorable lyrics can be used to educate very young children.

The Eurovision Song Contest is essentially a competition in the tools of soft-power. This is entirely centred around using words, music and visual effects to influence public opinion often by educating people about specific issues. As such Iceland was attempting to raise the technical issues of soft-power whilst at the same time pointing out that although the UK likes to boast about its prowess in this area Iceland are also very knowledgeable having produced world famous children's TV shows such as "LazyTown." Through Iceland's efforts and the general staging of the competition including flying boxes (Tardis') in the opening sequences there seemed to be a particular interest in a recent deal between Britain's BBC and the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (DPRK) to sell the Koreans BBC shows such as "The Teletubbies" and "Doctor Who" although I think it's extremely unlikely that the episodes of Doctor Who in particular will actually be broadcast in the DPRK.

Iceland's entry was supported by a video that was shot in the same childlike cartoon style. It featured a big, fat comic book villain who would zap people with his ray-gun to change their bright, rainbow coloured clothes into drab blacks and greys. The reference to the rainbow flag of gay-rights meant that this was a clear reference to the efforts to improve gay-rights in Russia during the 2014 Winter Olympics. However it appeared remarkably similar to the hideous "Gay Mountain" short film that Britain's Channel 4 broadcast throughout the Sochi games. As such Iceland seemed to be reminding everyone that when dealing with Britain's highly reactionary liberal elites it is important to talk as though you are dealing with a toddler.

Hungary: Performed by a US born and raised black, male singer - András Kállay-Saunders - who managed to resemble both Chris Brown and Drake Hungary's entry "Running" was overtly about domestic violence. As such it seemed a clear protest against the US' treatment of Rihanna because the true story Kallay-Saunders kept referencing was of a girl being abused in America. However what the Hungarians were actually doing was using other nations protests over the US' treatment of Rihanna as a metaphor for the political situation in Hungary which has seen a sharp rise in anti-semitism and neo-Nazi political parties such as Jobbik. The fact that Kallay-Saunders is black helped to highlight the racist nature of these Domestic groups who are prone to Violence.

Added to that Hungary's stage performance featured a 16 year old girl playing the role of the domestic violence victim whilst also playing the piano. This girl spent most of that performance hiding underneath that piano from a male dancer. This was very reminiscent of the perspex box in Azerbaijan's 2013 entry so served as another little hint to the contests large gay fanbase as part of the gay-rights trend.

Finally Hungary's was actually quite a good song featuring a drum and bass/dubstep beat. This contributed to the eastern high culture versus western low culture trend by pointing out that no-one's really objecting to hip hop/rap as a genre of music just the really poor examples of that genre that keep getting pushed to the top of the charts as if somehow we're supposed to be fooled into thinking that they're any good.

San Marino: With lyrics such as; "Maybe there's a pearl in the shell" and "When it's time, To open the heart of love" San Marino's entry was all about Rihanna. However the reason why it got through to the final while the similar Baltic entries failed is that it elevated the discussion. Throughout the US has argued that it needs to maintain such a high level of control over Rihanna through things like the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) audit because Rihanna is a bit of a disaster area who needs to be educated before she can take control of her own life. Through Rihanna's handling of the Berdon LLP case and well Berdon LLP case itself it does become increasingly difficult to counter that argument. As part of this discussion much has been made of the fact that Rihanna never finished High School failing to obtain even the most basic qualifications.

San Marino's Valentina Monetta also never finished high school in the conventional sense but went on to receive a very rich and varied education within the creative arts. As such San Marino seemed to be saying that maybe Rihanna still has some potential left but in order to realise that potential she needs a different education from the one the US are providing. Sadly this was probably the nicest thing said about Rihanna all week.

Added to that San Marino have a long history of trying and failing to make it into the final meaning that they've built up quite a lot of sympathy. Finally though the general tone of San Marino's entry was; "We're a tiny principality in northern Italy, Ukraine means that European politics have caught fire and we've only had eight weeks to prepare!!! We're not actually that bothered either way." This is sentiment that seemed to resonate with other contestants.

20:10 on 11/5/14 (UK date).

Edited at around 14:25 on 12/5/14 (UK date) to add;

Italy: Centred around Emma - a female singer with dyed and cropped blond hair - who liked striking the infamous tongue out pose whilst wearing an Alexander Wang Principle 1.2.6 campaign style beanie hat Italy's entry made clear, sarcastic references to both Miley Cyrus and Rihanna. However its main target was Lady Gaga.

Very much a gay icon Lady Gaga is currently on her "ARTPOP" tour and likes to portray herself as the pinnacle of modern high art, cultural and fashion. The problem is that people who actually work at the pinnacle of high art, culture and fashion disagree with Lady Gaga's work being seen as mediocre at best and overly prone to being weird for the sake of being weird. As such the Italians seemed to be highlighting the way that the gay community can be easily fooled and blinded to the wider picture by simple appeals to their vanity. This is of course central to the gay-rights trend at the heart of this years contest.

Through the Roman god inspired stage show and lyrics extolling the virtues of an unspecified Italian city the song "La Mia Città (My City)" seemed to be reminding people - particularly the Roc Nation/Live Nation family - that Italy is considered an artistic, fashion and cultural power house which is why those Americans are forced to visit when they need help. After all it is sometimes said that Jay Z and Beyonce in particular "live like Greek gods" by people who are not paying them a compliment. As such this was clearly Italy embracing European high culture over American low culture.

This message was actually reinforced at last Monday's (5/5/14) Vogue magazine's Met Ball in New York which is considered the pinnacle of the US fashion calender. The theme of the event was a Black & White ball. The Eurovision Song Contest was held at the B&W Hallerne (Hall) in Copenhagen. So while the Roc Nation family (Beyonce, Kim Kardashian, Rihanna etc) all rushed to the Met Ball thinking that their star power would overwhelm the song contest they were actually being reminded that the creative and talented people they rely on to provide them with the clothes and favourable write-ups that make them 'fashion icons' could easily withdraw that assistance. Or as Beyonce sometimes like to pout; "I can have another you by tomorrow / I could have another you in a minute."

Macedonia: With her spiky hair, tattoos and somewhat butch demeanour Macedonia's Tijana is the sort of women you find yourself questioning whether she is gay or straight when you first meet her. If you were to assume that she is gay - as Eurovision's gay fanbase tend to do - you would be wrong. As such she makes a large contribution to gay-rights trend by highlighting that gay-rights activists can be prone to rushing to judgement before they're in possession of all the facts.

This theme was continued by the video in support of the song "To the Sky" which began with images of flames rising from the ground. Azerbaijan is known as "The Land of Fire" because there is so much oil and natural gas there sometimes it seeps to the surface and catches fire of its own accord. The problems that were encountered in the gay-rights element of the Sochi games were of course foreshadowed by the reaction to Azerbaijan's 2013 entry. The video then goes on to feature men in US-style military flight suits which was a reference to the special status that Azerbaijan currently enjoys because its location means it would provide an essential base for US military action against Iran. The video also features Tijana writhing around in a bath tub apparently in the nude only with very obvious flesh-coloured underwear preserving her modesty. This is reminiscent of the video for "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga whom the Italians were very focused on and - to a lesser extent - Rihanna's "Stay" video. By joining in with the aggressive pushing of the bounds of taste and decency Macedonia was having a laugh at the US' attempts to send us all into a moral panic over Miley Cyrus' revealing stage costumes and Rihanna's topless photographs.

In her biography much is made of the fact that Tijana comes from a very musical family with a music professor father and an opera singer mother. Tijana herself graduated from music college and became a classical cellist who has played with the Macedonian national orchestra and the international orchestra in Leipzig, Germany. Apart from being a slight and complimentary reference to Marvel Comics "Agents of Shield" series this highlights Macedonia's achievements in high culture while touching on the issue of Rihanna's education.

So although they technically didn't make it into the final I think they were robbed and Macedonia can feel rightly proud of their entry which apart from being technically accomplished seemed very much aware of the wider trends at this years contest. So much so that if I'd covered them on Thursday (8/5/14) it would have spoilt everything.

Poland: By far the most eye catching entry of the year was by Polish born hip hop/rap producer Donatan and featured hip hop style beats alongside lyrics about Polish/Slavic identity alongside traditional costumes. As such it addressed the high culture versus low culture debate by saying that because Poland has a strong national identity of its own it is happy to see both influences blended together. This was reflected in the fact that the song used both Polish and English (American) lyrics. However it also seemed to feature a warning that if people like Jay Z, Chris Brown or Drake were to try pulling their fake gangster cr*p in that part of the world they'd better bring a lot of security with them.

With lyrics such as; "We're Slavic girls, we know how to use our charming beauty," "Vodka is better than whisky and gin, The best in us whatever you want" and "No better than our Slavic girls" along with an overtly sexual presentation including a video that is racier than some porn films I've seen Poland's entry was keen to portray Slavic women as party girls or the "Hoes" featured in hip hop/rap videos. As such it was making a very large contribution to the trend of the sexual objectification of eastern European women and its role in sex trafficking.

However to me this all seemed intended to disguise a much darker purpose to the entry. A very significant figure in Slavic/Russian politics is Vladimir the Great who was the 10th Century King of what was then known as "Kievan-Rus" which was made up of parts of Russia, Ukraine and Poland. Vladimir's great achievement was converting the Pagan Slavs of Kievan-Rus to what is now Russian Orthodox Christianity and he himself was baptised a Christian in Crimea. For this achievement and fighting some wars alongside Scandinavian (Viking) Kings Vladimir the Great was made a Saint and took the name Saint Basil II in honour of Saint Basil the Great. Although it is officially named after Saint Basil the third who came later the large, onion domed Cathedral in Moscow that everyone mistakes for the Kremlin is actually Saint Basil's Cathedral. Current Russian President Vladimir Putin's "Strong Russia" identity is very much built around the Russian Orthodox Church and has seen Saints including Vladimir the Great venerated once again. In fact when signing the documents allowing Crimea to re-join Russia Putin spoke at length about Vladimir the Great.

So by reminding Slavs of their hot Slavic blood, their Slavic genes and their Pagan history alongside an uptempo, energetic tune accompanied by the type of sexual imagery that gets the testosterone pumping Poland appeared to be inciting western Slavs in Ukraine on which groups like Right Sector, Svoboda and the Ukrainian Insurgent Army (UIA) form a lot of their identity to go and fight eastern Slavs in Ukraine. That's because although they're generally all Slavs there is a lot of tension between western and eastern Slavs in the way that there is a lot of tension amongst Northern Ireland's Christians. Also a lot of the anti-Kiev groups in the east have shown signs of re-connecting with their rival Cossack heritage.

As such I think there are not only very serious questions about whether Poland should have been disqualified from the Eurovision Song Contest for very clearly violating the founding principle of "promoting tolerance" but also whether they should be allowed to participate in future European Union (EU) discussions on Ukraine. That's because Poland's song contest entry very much reflects Poland's wider, rabid approach to Ukraine where they seem intent on inflaming the situation - presumably in an effort to provoke a war between NATO and Russia 

Anyway at 16:30 on 12/5/14 (UK date) all this talk of Polish and Ukrainian aggression has caused my computer to slow right down. So I'll be back after dinner with the UK's entry and bit of tidying up. Hopefully then I will finally be finished.

Edited at around 18:50 on 12/5/14 (UK date) to add;

The United Kingdom (UK): Certainly since the 2012 Summer Olympics in London the UK has trumpeted itself as the World leader in cultural soft-power. However it has a long history of sending utter cr*p to the Eurovision Song Contest. In 2013 it brought Bonnie Tyler out of retirement to push the issue of my then recently deceased Welsh grandmother onto the agenda. In 2012 I'm pretty sure Britain exhumed Engelbert Humperdinck in the hope he would attract votes from elderly eastern European women. As such in song contest circles the UK is viewed as highly arrogant considering their best soft-power efforts to be far too good to be wasted on such a silly contest.

The UK's 2014 entry "Children of the Universe" was intended to tackle this head on with great efforts being made to present the singer - Molly Smitten-Downes - as a credible popstar within the UK. So for example much was made of the fact she'd won best Urban/Pop act at the Live and Unsigned contest, 'Best Song' at the Best of British Unsigned Music Awards and was participating in the BBC's "Introducing" program when she was picked to compete in Eurovision. It was also made quite clear that Molly had collaborated with the well known "DJ Sash!"and had supported Beyonce on some of the UK dates of her 2013 tour. However one suspects that she was only handed these honours because she had already been selected as the UK's entry into the song contest. Her first name "Molly" is a slang term for the illegal drug "MDMA/Ecstasy" which seems to have been referenced a lot in mainstream pop-music recently perhaps most noticeably by Rihanna in "Diamonds." As such Smitten-Downes was chosen in a large part to bring up the issues of drug use and Rihanna - two issues that should have overlapped extensively during Rihanna's 2013 tour.

Apart from being a slight reference to the BBC TV show "Doctor Who" the "Universe" that appeared constantly throughout the song was a reference to the notion of "Divine Right" under which Monarchs rule or "Manifest Destiny" which is similar concept adopted by the first Protestant settlers of the US. Essentially it means that they are anointed by God to succeed in whatever they do. As their success is pre-determined they obviously don't have to ask themselves the question of whether they've succeeded or failed. Apart from the belief that they had secret, insider knowledge it was in this context that the UK was referencing Rihanna because despite all the evidence to the contrary both the UK and the US still appear to believe that their Rihanna operation was 100% successful and they should carry on with it. The fact that the UK had clearly started the groundwork for the 2014 song contest as far back as 2012 helped to reinforce this point because why would they need to question how things went during the Sochi games because obviously they succeeded at that too.

Lyrics like; "We're shining like diamonds" and "I'll never walk alone" were intended as references to other recent UK soft-power efforts in the form of the Rihanna operation and the attempts to link the Hillsborough Inquest to Northern Irish politics respectively. The chorus where the lyric; "Power to the people" was just repeated over and over again was supposed to be the UK boasting that it was so good at soft-power it could control people across the World and get them marching to its tune. By contrast lyrics such as; "We're children of the universe" and "Just Children" were intended to promote discussion about whether anyone else shared the UK's amazing confidence in it's own abilities.

Although I may have slightly influenced the public voting by Tweeting a link to the song "Heaven Knows" by US band "The Pretty Reckless" which seems to have unintentionally heavily influenced the UK's entry it seemed that everyone at Eurovision had already made up their mind about the UK by that point. So for example while we were waiting for the public voting to take place and all the votes to be counted and merged the Danish TV hosts made a great spectacle of presenting Molly with a Rihanna-style birthday cake even though it wasn't her birthday. This felt very much like Eurovision telling the UK to p*ss off.

Denmark: As hosts the Danes not only had to enter a song but also had to put on all the production surrounding the broadcast. They performed this task exceptionally well with most the opening sequences being so grand they often made the first act on stage look a bit rubbish by comparison. However the Danish entry did seem a bit thin because no-one wants the hassle of staging the contest two years in a row.

Their song "Cliche Love Song" was performed by Basim who is of Moroccan origin. This was to highlight that the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) includes nations such as Morocco. It was also a contribution to the sex trafficking theme by highlighting that amongst southern European states there is a growing problem of women being trafficked into western Europe from sub-Saharan Africa as well as eastern Europe. This is something that Willow Smith took a swing at and missed by being photograph on a bed with a much older white man. The fact that Boko Haram and the campaigners who support them have been able to so neatly position themselves within this debate is why people know that they are being backed by certain European nations. Especially ones who are heavily involved in the oil industry despite having little or no oil of their own.

The overall tone of the Danish entry was Bruno Mars or more specifically his half-time show at the most recent Superbowl. This was a somewhat lazy contribution to the gay-rights theme because the US were the main driving force behind the Sochi failure and the Superbowl half-time show was a large part of the US effort. It was in the few hours after the Eurovision Song Contest had ended that Micheal Sam was drafted making him the first openly gay player in the NFL. This was intended to bring up the US' approach to gay-rights in Sochi which seemed centred on the US screaming about how much more tolerant then Russia it was with someone new coming out as gay seemingly every single day.

Mainly though the Danish reference to the Superbowl was to point out that the Eurovision Song Contest is the second most watched event in the World just behind the Superbowl. However with many people only watching the Superbowl for the half-time shows and the adverts you could argue that the song contest is by far the culturally superior event and with China broadcasting the Eurovision Song Contest for the first time it could well overtake the Superbowl as the World's biggest spectacle.


I know I say it every year but I need to finish off by saying how impressed I was by the very high standard of this years contest because there didn't seem to be any duds at all. Even with the Albanian and Georgian entries which I singled out it was more a case of them being the least best entries rather then the worst.

If anything I'm slightly worried that the standard might have become too high because while I have a certain aptitude for this and time to do research a lot of the people who watch the song contest do so casually because it is on in the Saturday evening prime-time slot. With such a high standard there is a very real risk that a lot of what is going on will simply go over most people's heads causing them to lose interest. For example Poland's entry topped the public vote in the UK but the UK panel who'd looked at it in more detail and taken advice from the foreign intelligence service rated it 25th out of 25 making it quite clear that the UK does not want to be seen endorsing that sort of behaviour.

As such it might be time to either lower the standard or change the voting system with the panels being given greater weighting then the public vote. After all the difference between democracy and mob rule is that under democracy we choose people to specialise in complex issues on our behalf rather then trying to decide on every complex issue ourselves. 


(Originally Posted) 20:15 on 12/5/14 (UK date).